The Wings of Transformation

There are so many wonderful quotes using the butterfly as a metaphor for transformation. Perhaps one of my favorites is by Maya Angelou:

 

Fifteen years ago today I sat in my 2nd floor office at the Boston VA Outpatient Clinic. Almost all of my personal belongings were at home in preparation for my last day leaving behind my award winning social work career. I was hoping to stay on for 3 more years until I was 'eligible' for retirement but realized that I was at a crossroads in my life and needed to choose a path. I chose the path of healing my life from the once devastating effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma.

My schedule to see patients was sparse. I made many phone calls to let veterans and their families know of my impending departure and reassured them that there would be wonderful staff available to help them until my position was filled. Many patients and their families stopped by to say goodbye bearing beautiful thank you gifts. I reminded them of the many gifts they gave me by allowing me to be a part of their lives. 

I kept a journal on a yellow legal pad using it to visualize my life after the VA. I wrote in exquisite detail how I imagined my life as a NY Times Bestselling Author whose poetry touched the hearts and souls of many. My courageous journey of taking a leap of faith and all I endured in my life would inspire Oprah to have me as a guest on her show. I imagined meeting up with friends and potential clients for fancy lunches with my portfolio of "New World Greeting Cards: Original Poetry for Every Occasion." 

I incorporated what I am grateful for as part of the journal. 

While maintaining a brave, optimistic and hopeful demeanor about my future, a part of me was terrified! I used daily affirmations and worked to stay focused only on positive outcomes but it was a challenge to tune out the prognosis I had been given of a progressive neuromuscular disease. When I wrote poetry and focused on feeling as if I were already living in a healthy body, I literally felt no pain! But then the 'reality' of being in a leg brace, using a cane at times for mobility and being extremely deconditioned and limited in my functioning returned. 

I listened to my intuition and had this incredible sense of faith and trust that I made the right decision to leave the stress of my career. Fortunately, my husband and children supported me in all ways.

I read my poetry and shared my story at assisted living facilities as a way to ease my transition from my social work career which is all I had known for the past 25 years. I met amazing people along the way.

In October of 2007, one of my veteran volunteers who had become a good friend, introduced me to Janine Hightower who was starting her in home personal training business. She was a member of BNI, Business Networking International and my veteran wanted us to meet to see how we could network to grow each other's business. But as we sat there, I wasn't focused on my business but rather her in home personal training business Boston Homebodies.

I asked her if she thought she could help me to build on the outpatient therapy program I received from Spaulding. After my first session with her, I could barely move but I knew that if I were going to experience pain, I'd rather experience pain on the side of healing.

It required a great deal of patience and struggle to move out of the body of a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and trauma and reclaim my earthly home. When one looks at the picture of me at the 2009 Boston Marathon finish line:

you would never know the hours of struggle and pain both emotional and physical that I went through on that journey of transformation. The freedom and unbridled joy I experienced to have received my wings of transformation that day and that help me to continue to fly free as I was always meant to be made the journey worthwhile. I haven't yet had my books on the New York Times bestseller list but when I receive heartwarming reviews from my readers, I feel as though I have achieved that status. I haven't been a guest on Oprah but have been blessed to share my journey with many podcasters, radio talk show hosts and guest speaker at events. I was featured on a Channel 7 news piece. Visit the News and Events tab on my website to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews. I was blessed to have my story shared in Dr. David Hamilton's "Tenth Edition of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body" and be a guest on his Hay House Radio Show. While I imagined many wonderful things happening in my life, what came to be was far more incredible than what I wrote about on my yellow legal pad in anticipation of my last day at the VA fifteen years ago.

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon
 

Chasing Butterflies

 

 

On Monday's run with Tom, a monarch butterfly circled around us. We delighted in its beauty and felt blessed by its presence. We watched to see if it would light somewhere so we could take a picture of it but it kept freely flying. Tom chased after it and was able to capture it in flight:

In February of 2020, I was the guest speaker at the pre-race Pasta Dinner at the Hyannis Marathon Weekend. I was blessed to share the stage with Bill Rodgers.

He compared our experiences during childhood. While he chased butterflies experiencing the unbridled freedom of running, I worked to recover from having contracted childhood paralytic polio and then endured years of abuse at the hands of family members. Bill asked me how I was able to not be angry and bitter.

"I'd of been pretty pissed off if that would have happened to me," he said.

I shared how forgiveness and gratitude have been the lynch pins in my healing journey. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, one would have thought that my life as I had known it was coming to an end. And it was! I took a leap of faith leaving behind my award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of retirement age. I started a regular practice of gratitude and wrote letters of forgiveness to my parents and grandmother. I went into a cocoon of healing harnessing the power of the mind/body connection to heal my life. What a magnificent woman emerged and continues to emerge from the cocoon crossing the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon after 7 hours and 49 minutes. I came from a messy family and my journey of transformation, like the butterfly's journey, was uncertain. But, like the butterfly, the moment I thought my life was over, I emerged into a new state of Being as a runner, poet, author, inspirational speaker and one whose been blessed to touch the lives of so many with my Spirit and my beauty.

Hyannis Marathon Weekend was our last major event before the pandemic. In many ways we have been in a cocoon, now trying out our new wings transformed by the events of the past 18 months. I have learned that freedom is a state of mind and being. Although cases may be on the rise, masks are the order of the day indoors and there's a plan for booster shots, I can fly freely through life taking time to appreciate the beauty and splendor that is all around me. 

I love the quote, "If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

The leaves are changing on the trees and there is a chill in the air as our once never ending summer yields to a new season. We continue to see butterflies in our yard and on our runs reminding us that life is always changing, that without change we would not transform and evolve becoming the beautiful Beings we are all meant to be and that the process of change can be messy and uncertain. When we hold fast to our faith and trust the journey, we can soar. 

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.