In 2024, I.....A Different Kind of Year in Review

Here is my year in review highlighting what I've learned, done and what I am grateful for:

Loved more deeply
Had faith more fiercely
Practiced gratitude more intently
Learned to be more patient and kind
Self-love isn’t selfish
Let go of people and habits that did not serve my well being
Learned failure is not fatal and there are always opportunities to succeed
Success doesn’t always look the way we think it should
Grew my village of like-hearted souls
Published my 7th book
Amazon reviews are great but getting messages from readers make my book a NY Times bestseller
Embraced lovely synchronistic events
Became more unapologetically me and learned to value who I Am
Made it through challenges and extremely difficult times learning once more how strong and resilient I am
Learned the power of forgiveness of myself and others
Everything passes
Being graceful and grateful is better than grumbling
Life is better with a cat
It’s better to be kind than right
Rekindled my joy of running and movement
Learned the power of accepting everything as it is
Learned it’s vital to keep a sense of humor
Whenever I complain, replace it with 5 positive things
There may be less years to live than I’ve already lived and I plan to live those moments to the fullest
Rekindled my love of cooking
Was reminded of our bodies’ tremendous capacity to heal after illness or injury
There are more generous and kind people in the world when we look for them
Rushing slows you down
Love is always the answer
Saying no to someone or something is saying yes to myself 

I’m wrapping up the gifts of all that I learned and lived in 2024 and bringing them with me into 2025!

 

Happy New Year!

From my heart to yours - in health and wellness,

Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page with links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements, where you can find my incredibly inspirational story and upcoming events.

On January 15th, I will be speaking at Cohasset Elder Affairs to share my journey and have a book signing details on my website.

Proud to BU is a podcast highlighting the illustrious achievements of Boston University Alumni. Here is the link to my episode.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon  My 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is receiving rave reviews and is a selection of the WBZ News Radio Book Club.

What's in a Poem?

 

 

Writing poetry can be healing and transformative because poems reflect the voice of the soul. Writing poetry is also a way to nurture a mindfulness practice because when writing poems, we have the chance to unleash the unconscious mind. Sculpting our feelings and thoughts into a poem can take us on a journey where the conscious mind actually takes a little holiday. Writing poetry is a time to loosen up and allow the freedom of self-expression at a time when it is often needed the most.   How Poetry Can Heal Diana Raab Ph.D.

As National Poetry Month draws to a close, I offer reflections on how poetry became a tool of powerful transformation in my life. In December of 2006, I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. hIn February of 2007, in the agmidst of winter's darkness and my own darkness, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. It's what I had always done when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. Surrounded by print outs from 'new age teachers' (which were teachers and leaders sharing age old wisdom), a phrase jumped out at me, "I am so happy and grateful now that I can create..."

"Create what?" I asked myself. My career was coming to an end as I was told that if I had any hope of maintaining my current level of functioning that I needed to quit my award winning career as a VA Social Worker. My twins were grown. What was there to create?

I went to my laptop and Spirit flowed through me as I wrote this poem:

Running the Race   

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear.
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, alone and afraid tried to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.                                            

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

My heart opened and despite not having any clear road map for my pat after I would leave the VA on 5/27/2007, I felt hopeful; something I had not felt  in several years as my body was withering away with no clear explanation for the array of symptoms I experienced.

It was as though a spigot was turned on in my soul. I needed pen and paper with me at all times. I was healing my past through gratitude and forgiveness and in my mind's eye creating a future very different than the one predicted for me by traditional medicine.

While I never formally studied poetry, my physical therapist read Dr. Seuss to me before every painful physical therapy session while I recovered from childhood paralytic polio. During the treatments, she would have my recite the Dr. Seuss book I chose for the day in tandem while she coaxed muscles and nerves back to health. The healing cadence stayed in my soul all those years until it was time for me to have the gift blossom in my own life. 

I went on to run the 2009 Boston Marathon; Running the Race foreshadowed that epic event in my journey of transformation. I wrote poetry on the road to the Boston Marathon in which I visualized only positive outcomes on race day. I also captured the beauty and strength within me through the power of my pen. The people and places I was blessed to experience during that segment of my journey are now also immortalized in my poems.

I had stopped writing poetry and focused on finishing my Trilogy of Transformation. When the pandemic hit, poetry flowed again that helped to keep me focused on optimism, faith, gratitude, healing, hope and unity despite the turmoil and chaos happening around us.

I continue to write poetry to commemorate and celebrate special occasions and events. When Spirit moves me, I continue to write poetry to allow my 'thinking mind' to yield to my creative mind and express promptings from my heart and soul. As I said in the description of "Feel the Heal:An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life," When we bypass our analytical minds and are able to see beyond appearances, magic and miracles happen.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon  

 

Fifteen Years Later --- I remember....

 

Fifteen years ago this week with voice and hands trembling, I reached out to Spaulding Rehab's International Rehab Center for Polio and Post-Polio Syndrome to take the first very tentative steps on my healing journey. As I wrote in "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

The buzzing hum from the fluorescent lights echoed the buzzing in my nervous system. I sat waiting for my first appointment at the post polio clinic at the IRCP. My complexion was as white as the paper that covered the exam table. I felt as fragile and vulnerable as that piece of paper that gets ripped off and tossed away after the exam. Every inch of my body hurt. I was exhausted. I was sick and tired of feeling
sick and tired. I hadn’t really cared whether or not I woke up in the morning but I had a husband and twins that needed me. Ironically enough I was at the peak of my career as a VA social worker. I couldn’t sleep. I felt depressed. My award-winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs no longer fueled my soul. Somewhere deep inside of me there was a feeling that there had to be a way out of the hell I was living in.

The symptoms began in 1996. I had episodes of feeling fatigue and muscle burning. I was anxious.  At times, I noticed that the limp from paralytic polio returned. In 1992, I had reconstructive leg surgery to correct the deformity of my left leg and to avoid a total knee replacement at the young age of 39 years old. Here I was 7 years later feeling as though my body was beginning to deteriorate and my life falling apart.

As I was carrying the laundry from the 2nd floor to the basement today I reflected on how I felt 15 years ago. I could barely walk up one flight of stairs let alone carry a laundry basket. After exhaustive testing, the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome was made in December of 2006. I pleaded with the Occupational Therapist to help me work for 3 more years until I would be eligible for retirement.

I did not take kindly to being dependent on my family members. I was a Type A personality on steroids. I knew I needed to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker. The Team at Spaulding said if there were any chance of stabilizing the symptoms where they were, I had to consider leaving my career. I needed to use a toe up leg brace, a cane and a wheelchair for mobility whenever I needed to travel long distances and to confront the reality that I would probably need to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

There was a possibility I would need a feeding tube given that the left side of my esophagus was sluggish and causing me to aspirate food into my lungs. They recommended a sleep apnea machine at night to try to improve my breathing since my lungs were not operating at full capacity as a result of the paralytic polio I contracted at the age of 5. I refused and in February got still and asked for Divine Guidance. I did not like where my life was heading and knew I had to do something if I were going to have a life.

I knew that my mind, body and soul were crying out for healing from the effects of paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma.

We used Pea Pod for grocery deliveries. I started to journal and focused on gratitude. And then a portal to healing opened wide as my pen became my divining rod for healing. Poetry poured out of me visualizing a future very different than the ones the Team predicted for me. Poetry was a powerful vehicle to also heal my past.

The first poem, 'Running the Race' foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run. The Brookline Tab covered my journey with Fifty Years After Polio, a Brookline Woman is Fighting Back and Once Crippled by Polio, a Brookline Woman Now Running Her First Marathon.

Forgiveness, faith and gratitude were the lynch pins during those early days of my healing journey as I feverishly wrote poetry channeled through Spirit to take me on a journey of miraculous healing.

I continue to practice an attitude of gratitude and know that every step is a gift and every mile I continue to run is a blessing. I no longer have the tub chair, the cane, the toe up leg brace or the wrist splint that were prescribed for me. I feel the joy of being able to grocery shop (even though we still have to wear masks and be socially distant when we do.

It's been fifteen years since my first visit to Spaulding and the diagnosis that would set me on a journey of miraculous transformation. 

I remember how I asked for Divine Guidance to help lift me out of the dark night of  my mind, body and soul. I remember the days when I prayed for everything I am so blessed to experience now!

Faring Well

Facing fears
dread dripping like candle’s hot wax
must not let it snuff out my light
it’s time to bid farewell my dear
past is past
I passed the tests
transform thoughts
fare well with happiness and health
peace and prosperity
abundance
relief
comfort
at ease
butterfly on the breeze
sweet nectar of life
now flows. 

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness
Mary

Chasing Butterflies

 

 

On Monday's run with Tom, a monarch butterfly circled around us. We delighted in its beauty and felt blessed by its presence. We watched to see if it would light somewhere so we could take a picture of it but it kept freely flying. Tom chased after it and was able to capture it in flight:

In February of 2020, I was the guest speaker at the pre-race Pasta Dinner at the Hyannis Marathon Weekend. I was blessed to share the stage with Bill Rodgers.

He compared our experiences during childhood. While he chased butterflies experiencing the unbridled freedom of running, I worked to recover from having contracted childhood paralytic polio and then endured years of abuse at the hands of family members. Bill asked me how I was able to not be angry and bitter.

"I'd of been pretty pissed off if that would have happened to me," he said.

I shared how forgiveness and gratitude have been the lynch pins in my healing journey. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, one would have thought that my life as I had known it was coming to an end. And it was! I took a leap of faith leaving behind my award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of retirement age. I started a regular practice of gratitude and wrote letters of forgiveness to my parents and grandmother. I went into a cocoon of healing harnessing the power of the mind/body connection to heal my life. What a magnificent woman emerged and continues to emerge from the cocoon crossing the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon after 7 hours and 49 minutes. I came from a messy family and my journey of transformation, like the butterfly's journey, was uncertain. But, like the butterfly, the moment I thought my life was over, I emerged into a new state of Being as a runner, poet, author, inspirational speaker and one whose been blessed to touch the lives of so many with my Spirit and my beauty.

Hyannis Marathon Weekend was our last major event before the pandemic. In many ways we have been in a cocoon, now trying out our new wings transformed by the events of the past 18 months. I have learned that freedom is a state of mind and being. Although cases may be on the rise, masks are the order of the day indoors and there's a plan for booster shots, I can fly freely through life taking time to appreciate the beauty and splendor that is all around me. 

I love the quote, "If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."

The leaves are changing on the trees and there is a chill in the air as our once never ending summer yields to a new season. We continue to see butterflies in our yard and on our runs reminding us that life is always changing, that without change we would not transform and evolve becoming the beautiful Beings we are all meant to be and that the process of change can be messy and uncertain. When we hold fast to our faith and trust the journey, we can soar. 

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.

 

On Being Kind

 

The Born This Way's Foundation #BEKIND21 campaign began on September 1st. I think of the campaign as a mirror reminding me to be aware of the choices I make in thoughts and behaviors as I go is about my day. I realize how easy it is to judge someone if I am not mindful of my thoughts and what is in my heart. These past few days have been a wonderful opportunity to put kindness and compassion front and center. I have the tab to the BEKIND21 campaign open on my computer and it's a nudge from the Universe to choose kindness and compassion for myself and others. On Wednesday we greeted parents and children on their way to school with warm smiles wishing them well on their first day of school. Yesterday I focused on gratitude.

While it's always possible to be kind, it's not always easy.

We've encountered some challenging situations in recent weeks. The encounters reached a head and tempers flared. I suggested to Tom that we take the 'high road' and apologize even though the other person demonstrated unkind and cruel behaviors.

With all that is happening in the world, this is Divine Timing for the #BEKIND21 campaign. David Hamilton, Ph.D.  my good friend and the "kindness czar" for Psychologies Magazine on Facebook shared this post about the #BEKIND21 campaign. Several years ago he came to New York to be a part of Born This Way Foundation's kindness campaign with Lady Gaga. David lives in Scotland. 

Today (1st September) marks the beginning of #bekind21

The aim is to do an act of kindness (or more) a day each day through until 21st September.

As I wrote in an earlier post, last year, there were over 100 million acts of kindness!! I think we can surpass 200 million this year. This is how we can make a difference in the world. Collectively. With our hearts.

It’s been my personal observation that kindness rescues us sometimes. There are times when it’s just what you need - either the thing itself or even just the knowing that someone cares in that moment.

And as the giver, I feel that kindness accesses that part deep within us that just knows that kindness, compassion, empathy, an act of love, is the right thing to do. I suppose, in these moments we rescue ourselves. We gain perspective on what really matters out of the multitude of competing interests that fill our minds each and every day.

I’ve joined the #bekind21 campaign this year. You can register here: https://bornthisway.foundation/bekind21/

There’s also a cool kindness calendar on the registration page that you can download to keep track of your kindnesses. I have mine on my wall.

Wherever you are, I wish you a great day. And remember to be kind. It’s almost always the right thing to do.

I've been working on this poem that I was able to finish after yesterday's afternoon meditation: 

Choose Kind

When heart is hurt it may be difficult to find
a path to healing to be gracious be kind
remember a bully has wounds that run deep
invisible to eye hidden secrets they keep.
A burden they carry defensive and cruel
retaliation revenge only serves anger to fuel
don’t turn a blind eye see beyond behavior so hurtful and cold
a daring perception be brave and be bold.
A gift of choosing love to thine own self be true
reconciliation remember they’re a person too
don’t let the wound fester let go let in light
your Spirit will thank you peace well within sight.
Underneath all the layers of bitterness bluster
beats a heart that’s Divine if only courage they could muster
with compassion forgiveness and choosing tender thoughts I’ll be free
kind-hearted and vulnerable I’ll let myself be.

When I was a guest on The Cardinal Cafe podcast, the hosts asked me how I was able to stay connected to my goodness and be kind and compassionate despite all the trauma I endured as a child after contracting paralytic polio. I shared with them how, after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I realized that I needed to transform and heal the anger and hurts through the power of forgiveness and seeing all that happened to me through the lens of gratitude. I embraced my experiences as gifts and once I opened my heart to love myself and forgive those who hurt me, I began to heal mind, body and soul.

I am excited to be inspired by the #BEKIND21 campaign and the messages that the Born This Way Foundation are sharing in daily emails. 

Let us all create a vibration of kindness and care during these next several weeks as part of the campaign and throughout all the days to come.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.

Learning How to Love! Learning How to Live!

 

Three weeks from today marks the 14th anniversary of when I left my award winning career as a VA social worker to heal my life from the once devastating effects of childhood paralytic polio and severe child abuse at the hands of family members. As I was reflecting on this anniversary and social media's Tuesday transformation theme, I reflected on how the first step in my healing journey was to learn how to love myself. 

Enduring years of abuse at the hands of family members and taunting from peers because I was different from them lugging an ankle to hip leg brace, walking with a limp and not being able to contribute to my team's efforts in gym class, took quite a toll on mind, body and soul.

I had been familiar with Bernie Siegel's work since the 1980's. Although I had not read "Love, Medicine and Miracles" in many years, the story of Evy McDonald and her miraculous recovery from ALS stayed with me.  She was also a polio survivor and after the diagnosis of ALS, decided she was not going to die hating her body. She literally loved herself well.

After my diagnosis, I reached out to Bernie as I had done through the years for guidance and what he calls being a "rebirthing coach" as my "Chosen Dad" to re-parent me and teach me how to re-parent myself. I joined his Forum, revisited his books and explored the works of other mind/body luminaries.

The gift of poetry was ignited in my soul after getting still and asking for Divine Guidance. Themes of gratitude, forgiveness, and self-love helped to heal my past. Imagination and visualization for a future very different than the ones the doctors predicted for me of preparing to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair inspired me to heal mind, body and soul.

I was a workaholic consumed with the needs of my patients, their families my Team and my family. I didn't know how to practice self-care and forgot to how to enjoy life.

I had to learn how to live again and running provided me with just the path I needed to rediscover life. 

Running was a great metaphor for the fullness of life and discovering my strength, resilience, beauty, grace, courage and being surrounded by love from the running community for my journey on the road to the 2009 Boston Marathon.

Next Tuesday, I record an interview with Bernie for Dreamvisions 7 Radio on his Mind Health Matters. Broadcast dates are May 20th & 21st at 12am & 12pm DST and it will also be available in the archives. 

We will be discussing my latest book, "Hope is a Garden: Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic"

and how the wisdom I garnered during my healing journey held me in good stead during the pandemic.

We will also talk about the power of poetry and creativity to sustain us during challenging times.

Fourteen years ago I faced an uncertain future after a devastating diagnosis but I transformed the experience to learn how to love and how to live.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

For more information about my journey from childhood polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, visit my website.

"Hope is a Garden:Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic" along with all of my books to inspire and uplift you is available on Amazon.