A Journey of Hope

 

During this morning's meditation, I was reflecting on my healing journey. Monday marks 51 years since my father ended his life. He was a tortured soul who lost his way on earth leaving much pain and suffering in the wake of his life. Yet out of the massive destruction of his life, the beauty of my life emerged after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome.

Fifteen years ago, on May 25th which coincidentally was his birthday, I took a leap of faith leaving behind my award winning career as a VA social worker to 'heal my life' from the once devastating effects of paralytic polio and trauma. At the time I had no idea what that meant. I did know about the works of Dr. Bernie Siegel, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Lisa Nichols and other 'new age' teachers that I turned to in order to tap into the Divine Intelligence within me. My imagination was ignited through the power of my pen as poetry poured out of me as a spigot of creativity turned on in my heart and soul. 

I made this video at the suggestion of Tony Robbins on social media in December of 2008. He encouraged people to make a video about a journey from crisis to transformation and then share it in his group. After seeing the video, he made a donation of $1000 to our Race for Rehab fundraising page.

 As I began to share my journey of transformation in 2008 many people asked how it was even possible to reverse a progressive neuromuscular disease. I referenced the journey of Evy McDonald who I learned about through Bernie Siegel. She healed her life with ALS. She was also a survivor of polio and child abuse. I referenced Bernie's works and how people were able to harness the power of the mind and understand the meaning of their diagnosis in their lives as a way to heal their lives. Since then, I refer to the works of Dr. David Hamilton, Dr. Joe Dispenza and the luminaries in the Heal Documentary.

When one person has been able to do something that was previously thought impossible, it opens the doors for others to do the same. Everyone thought that running a four minute mile was impossible. Once Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile in 1954, others realized it was possible and were able to go beyond what was once thought to be impossible. Over 1600 people have broken the 4 minute mile as of April 2021!

The title of the first book in my Trilogy of Transformation is Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibilities. I went on to write Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance and The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953 that completed the trilogy of my healing journey from diagnosis, to the Boston Marathon and to Bermuda Half Marathons 2016, 2017 and 2018 after a serious knee injury. I briefly returned to the Post-Polio Clinic after my left knee 'blew out' in December of 2014. I was told I never should have started running, that I would need a total knee replacement in a few years and I should stop running or cap my distance at a 5K. I was blessed to find a chiropractor who recommended I read Dr. Joe's, "You Are the Placebo" and Candace Pert's books," The Molecules of Emotion" and "Everything You Need to Know to Feel Go(o)d." We partnered together with chiropractic care, KT taping and revamping my strength training program. I even grew a new gastroc muscle in my left leg which the MRI had shown was atrophied. 

During the pandemic I once again turned to my pen, my Divining rod for healing. I compiled poems and essays that became the book, "Hope is a Garden: Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic." Hope is the theme of my next book, "Into the Light: Emerging From the 2020 Pandemic."

Many people have asked me how I was able to hold onto hope when I was in the midst of dire circumstances growing up, after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome and during these challenging times. I was touched by grace after contracting paralytic polio with a near death experience where I met my guardian angel. I was blessed to meet many earth angels as I navigated life's challenges who helped to fan the flames of hope and faith within me.

May my journey fan the flames of hope and faith within you to be able to know that all things are possible despite appearances to the contrary. Be sure to listen to my recent conversation with Buzz Knight on his Takin a Walk podcast as we talk about my journey of hope.

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon 

 

 

 

 

On Crisis, Opportunity and Vulnerability

 

The day after I received the 2nd vaccine, I experienced knee pain that was different than any kind of knee pain I experienced throughout all of my running career. I knew that joint pain could be a vaccine side effect and that energy flows where attention goes. I focused on all the parts of my body that felt well and focused on gratitude that vaccines were the path to ending the pandemic.

"I've had this deep bone knee pain that's worse in my right knee than my left," I told Dr. Lizzie when I presented for last week's appointment." 

"The pain woke me up one night."

"Did it wake you up or was it morning and you woke up with it?"

"No it woke me up in the middle of the night!"

We chatted about the different variables that might be contributory factors to the knee pain and Dr. Lizzie got to work to help release my body's natural capacity to heal. 

We talked about the pandemic and the latest uptick in cases expressing relief so many people we know have been vaccinated and that she kept the pandemic protocol for her office.

When I turned over, a thought bolted through me like lightning.

"Oh my God," I said to Dr. Lizzie. "Look I have goosebumps."

I could feel the phantom pain from polio and trauma coming into my awareness. 

While the vaccine's side effects may have set the joint pain in motion and while the continued joint pain is a sign that my body continues to build antibodies, the recent uptick in cases have turned joy and celebration to caution and conflict has been a trigger to my past.

But what a wondrous opportunity to heal wounds on a deeper level. It's also a time of opportunity for vulnerability, honesty and having difficult conversations around vaccinations and making choices. We talked about being able to unapologetically turn down an invitation if we did not feel comfortable going to a particular event in light of the recent uptick in cases.

I felt wonderful at session's end knowing that out of the crisis of the joint pain, I have a tremendous opportunity to heal on a deeper level mind, body and soul and to have Dr. Lizzie hold that sacred space for me to share whatever is in my heart that affects being able to feel comfortable in my own skin.

"Would you like to buy another package?" Dr. Lizzie asked me as the package I had bought on March 12th, 2020 was finally used up.

She brought out the paperwork.

"Tom and I were talking about this the other night and we do save a lot of money with the package..." My voice trailed off as I got choked up remembering what happened after I bought the last package of 10 sessions. Something that I did countless times without even thinking throughout the past 4 years was now laden with overwhelming emotion.

"You can pay one at a time. You can buy a package of 5. You know that I'd never let it expire with the current conditions. Just tell me what you are most comfortable with."

I was taken aback with my reaction to buying the package. I know that Dr. Lizzie has the utmost professional integrity. As she reopened her office I communicated with her via email asking when the package we purchased in March would expire. She told me that she did not want us coming into Boston if we were not comfortable. She only asked that we kept her updated of when we thought we might return for treatments. As vaccinations increased and infection rates declined, Tom and I set up our appointments. 

As we signed off on the paperwork, Dr. Lizzie said "If you get home and are not comfortable with the purchase, I will give you a full refund and you can pay as you go."

I took a deep breath realizing that it is not March 12th 2020 and we are moving forward in ending the pandemic. Meanwhile, in the midst of this crisis there is opportunity for healing, hope and possibilities and experiencing a new way of being in the world vulnerable, tender, compassionate and kind with ourselves and others. 

Vulnerability

Sharing tears and fears
tearing off veil
revealing true self
fullness of human experience
embraced by unconditional love
acceptance

Courage unbridled by COVID
urgency and hunger
true connection
nowhere and no need to hide

Hard conversations
truth telling
beauty in raw emotions
holding sacred space for each other
tenderness
compassion and kindness prevail 

Undam emotions
flooding heart with love
transforming damnation
forgiveness and gratitude
releasing decades of pent up pain
emerging from shadows of former self

Crisis an opportunity
excitement
exploring
bathing wounds
feel the heal

A brave new world
riding waves
only certainty in uncertainty
lighting the way
companions exploring
emerging
transforming
healing path
paved with Divine Love.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to listen to my recent conversation with Liz Brunner, award winning journalist, now CEO of Brunner Communications on her podcast Live Your Best Life. I share how I live my best life despite the challenges that I faced at an early age.

For all of my recent appearances, be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website.

My books to inspire and uplift you are available on Amazon.