Hard Days Are the Best...

 

Even though Boston was only mildly affected by Hurricane Lee, last Saturday's run was a hard run for me. There were gusty headwinds at times but it was my stormy internal state that made it a hard run. When our daughter gets an infection, she experiences concomitant neuropsychiatric symptoms that are deeply distressing for her and for us. Last Saturday we were in the darkest of times not knowing how/if/when she was going to experience wellness again. I have an incredibly strong faith. Our village was praying for her and Team McManus; people were sending Reiki and healing energy. I did meditations and visualizations seeing her as healthy, whole and healed. I imagined her crossing the finish line with Tom at the Bay State Half Marathon to complete her Trilogy of Half Marathons for Victory Programs.

I had to find a way to find comfort in the discomfort of uncertainty holding onto hope, accepting everything as it was. There were abundant signs from the Universe that everything was going to be okay. I would see just what I was supposed to see on social media and friends' messaging me videos and quotes to support me during the time of uncertainty. We created imagery to imagine Ruth Anne's healing like this Unicorn and rainbow:

We imagined the healing powder from the Unicorn's horn helping to bring Ruth Anne to a state of wellness and well-being. The rainbow is a wonderful symbol of hope and our connection to the Divine. 

We were grateful that there hadn't been any more disconcerting phone calls as there had been during the previous Saturday's run but I was clearly feeling the cumulative effect of the stress of Ruth Anne's hospitalization.

It was the first cool, cloudy and drizzly run we had in a long time. The weather could easily be like that on race day in Bermuda although I am visualizing a perfect sunny yet cool dry day. Training in all kinds of weather, especially while having a hard run is great physical and mental preparation for race day. Up until Saturday's run, I hadn't realized how much I was missing Ruth Anne on our training runs. It was also the first time that I wasn't sure how Team McManus was going to be able to emerge from the darkness that descended as a result of Ruth Anne's infection. I reflected on how excited Ruth Anne was to have me take on this goal and having us train together. My heart was heavy but I kept focusing on how vital it was for me to train hard even when/especially when it was a hard day!

We focused on the contrast between the delicate flowers that dotted the path around the Reservoir and how the powerful wind created waves on the often still waters of the Reservoir. I breathed deeply knowing that in the midst of mist, a grey sky and clouds the sun still shines somewhere. I remembered a recent fortune I got at our favorite Chinese restaurant that said, "It's always darkest before dawn."

I felt accomplished and empowered after getting through those 5 miles. It wasn't my best pace but it was a pace that was well within finishing before the 2 1/2 hour time limit. 

Saturday afternoon we received a call from Ruth Anne. She wasn't quite back to being/feeling herself yet but she was certainly better than she was the week before. And then...after 7 very long hard weeks...all of a sudden Ruth Anne was ready to come home!

To celebrate her homecoming, we went on a run together. It was the perfect weather day with warm sun, blue skies and puffy clouds:

What a blessing to be able to take a selfie together:

Team McManus navigated through seven weeks of mostly hard days. We feel like champions after weathering those storms and are so deeply grateful to have a loving, supportive village surrounding with prayers and healing energy. We know we can get through anything with our faith, our love and the healing power of running in our lives.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon

Thank you to Mike Reilly for featuring my story on Stories From the Finish Line Sponsored by CURAD Performance Series to inspire others.

Be sure to subscribe to the On The Runs podcast for stories of individuals who are fierce and determined to overcome challenges, set goals and crush them. Here is the link to my Episode 56.

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Be sure to download and subscribe to the AdaptX podcast. Here's the link to my wonderful conversation with host Brendan Aylward sharing my journey of transformation and healing in the wake of polio, Post-Polio syndrome and trauma.

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Trust the Wait

Embracing uncertainty was never a strong suit of mine. Growing up in a household rife with alcohol and drug abuse, uncertainty was a threat to my very survival. Yet, after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006, I learned that uncertainty, hope, faith and possibilities can bring great joy to this amazing journey we call life.

As I share my journey in different interviews, I reflect on how I 'took a leap of faith leaving behind my award winning VA social work career to heal my life.' At the time I truly had no idea what it meant. I kept a 30 day journal visualizing 'A Day in the Life' after I left the only career I had known for 25 years. I fancied myself being on Oprah sharing my childhood trauma and how poetry helped me to heal my life. I imagined being a NY Times Bestselling Author. I drew from experiences that were known to me and that I valued as a measure of success.

After I left the VA, I began to enjoy the beauty of becoming often using the analogy of a butterfly emerging from the cocoon. 

I had written the poem, "Running the Race" not knowing that it would foreshadow my 2009 Boston Marathon run although, as Carl Jung says, the unconscious prepares the way for the future. I am not a NY Times Bestselling Author - yet but when I receive feedback about how my poetry and journey bless the lives of others, I feel as though I am a bestselling author. I've been blessed to receive critical acclaim for my books.

The pandemic was the ultimate time for the entire world to trust the wait. We were in our 'bubbles' and had to ride the waves of uncertainty as I write about in my soon to be released, "Into the Light: Emerging From the 2020 Pandemic."

Last year, Tom took a leap of faith retiring from his tenure as a Systems Administrator at Boston College. We knew it was time for a chance (I meant to write change but chance fits). He thought he was going to get a little retirement job somewhere but realized he still had a lot of life left in him working in technology. He signed on doing contract work. We had never even considered that he would be offered a full time position after doing contract work for 8 months with one organization. When he left BC, nothing was certain except we had Medicare, a retirement savings and social security, and most importantly our faith that everything would work out.

Embracing the uncertainty, rather than trying to control outcomes (which as a trauma survivor was vital to my survival) allows for the expansion of life and the opportunity for the Universe to open the doors to all possibilities!

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon

When Nothing is Certain...

 

Uncertainty is a part of life. So often it is a challenge to trust the wait and visualize positive outcomes. Appearances can look dreary and it is easy to get weighed down by current realities. We recently had a very challenging situation at Tom's job. There was ongoing stress due to a number of factors and it finally reached a point where we had to evaluate next steps. As I said to my chiropractor, quoting Robin Sharma, “Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end."

I've been increasing the time and frequency of my meditation. This morning, this poem flowed through me:

The Present
As I pull the ribbons
unwrapping the gift of a new day
I pause
Will I pass the time with worry and fret
bemoaning the past
erase unhappy thoughts
as easily as wiping a white board clean.
Starting day with clean slate
open heart
deep breaths
grateful
all I need is right here.
In this very moment
creating joy
it’s a gift to be alive
challenges transform coal into diamonds.
Twinges of fear
transform what if's
future trusted to the Divine
be present
feel day flowing with ease
graciously greeting
each moment with hope
gift of a new day.

I subscribe to David R. Hamilton, Ph.D.'s "Daily Boost." Today's inspiration was:

 

I've been getting signs from songs on the radio and as I released fear and opened myself up to the magic of the Universe, amazing and miraculous things have been happening. 

Nothing is ever certain. I believe we have learned that many times over with the pandemic. But we can create certainty in our lives through faith and embracing uncertainty knowing that when nothing is certain, everything is possible.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to listen to my recent conversation with Liz Brunner, award winning journalist, now CEO of Brunner Communications on her podcast Live Your Best Life. I share how I live my best life despite the challenges that I faced at an early age.

For all of my recent appearances, be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website.

My books to inspire and uplift you are available on Amazon.