When Worry Seems to Take Hold....

 

 

In the wake of Tuesday's elections results, the what if's are taking center stage on many social media posts and in the news that feeds the worries in many people's thoughts and hearts. I am a worrier by nature that stems from childhood trauma. This election cycle has been a trigger so I really have to double down on using what's in my toolbox.

Worrying puts us into survival mode. Worried thoughts can feed upon themselves and release stress hormones that can then produce more worried thoughts. It drains our energy and leaves us less prepared to handle adverse situations. Did you know that there is a 90-second rule? I HIGHLY recommend this article from April 26, 2020, that explains that a circuit of reaction lasts for only 90 seconds. After that, it is our paying attention to that thought that keeps the reaction going. It's not always easy to break the cycle but what a wonderful feeling of freedom lies in being able to do so. 

"Life’s curve balls will slam you at lightning speed from all angles, from time to time, throwing you off your path. The question is, “What are you going to do about it?” This is a question many of us never stop to think about. If you want to thrive in this world, the 90-second rule offers a mindful way to override your hardwired survival reflex of reaction and cope with life's unexpected events—no matter how dire the circumstances—in a calmer, healthier, more mature way." In truth, no good ever comes from imagining worst case scenarios. It only adds energy to a negative outcome.

There is also a reference to Victor Frankl who was a Holocaust survivor. I came to know his work when I worked as a social worker and was working to heal my own PTSD. “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves... Everything can be taken from a human but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  

Mark Twain was a genius when it came to quotes about worries:

And speaking of imagination:

By the same token, we can use our imagination to create something we DO want. Even if the outcome we want is not apparent, while we are imagining a positive outcome we are producing feel good chemicals. The mind cannot distinguish real from imaginary and react whether the situation is in our thoughts or happening in 'real time.'

I have unsubscribed from all news sources. I am unfollowing (but not unfriending)  friends who are posting about their concerns sharing the latest hair raising news and have blocked or pulled back from people who are not like-minded or like-hearted individuals. I meditate 3 times a day - sometimes more, exercise, am mindful about my nutrition, listen to podcasts that are uplifting and inspiring and think to myself, "What's the best that can happen?"

I know many might 'fight' me and say that I'm being naive. Look at what happened before. I look to how I can live in the present moment. If things that happened before happen again 'or worse' as many people predict, then I will not have spent all this time drained and in a state of dread. And, as Simon Sinek said, "Optimism is different than positive and it's definitely not naive. Optimism is a belief that the future is positive, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and we're heading there together."

In health and wellness,

Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page with links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements, where you can find my incredibly inspirational story and upcoming events.

Proud to BU is a podcast highlighting the illustrious achievements of Boston University Alumni. Here is the link to my episode.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon  My 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is receiving rave reviews and is a selection of the WBZ News Radio Book Club.

It's Gonna Be Alright....

 

As my head swirled with negative thoughts of "What if's" I told myself to stop and shift the "What if's" to positive outcomes. On August 5, Tom was given a Performance Improvement Plan at work. He had been working day and night after having had an adverse reaction to the COVID vaccine. He planned to get the vaccine on his vacation but they told him he had to postpone his vacation. He couldn't postpone his 2nd shot and worked when he should have taken time to rest. He was also called back early from his vacation to work the evening before he was to return to work. 

He made errors that were uncharacteristic for him and exaggerated because of the extraordinary stress everyone experienced. Management didn't check in with him to see what was going on. Instead they "wrote him up" and gave him a warning that if he did not follow the PIP and immediately improve, he would be fired!

Fortunately his vacation started the next week.  As Divine Timing would have it, our son Autumn and his partner Michelle were coming to town on August 11th to celebrate the twins' birthday. Team McManus had a meeting and unanimously decided it was time for Tom to retire.We had savings and were totally confident that he could get a low key job somewhere to supplement retirement and social security. The "Big Quit" can be as infectious as COVID and we decided that life is too short to suffer in a work environment. Autumn and Tom got very excited about a dream they've had for several years to have their own technology consulting company.

Last week, there was a meeting scheduled with a top manager on his calendar. "What if they are going to ask you to stay?" {Note how this was quite a shift from what if they tell you to leave early without pay?} "I'm not going to do it," Tom said. We ignored the 'dreadlines' about an uncertain economy trusting that the technology sector is in dire need of talent.

I thought of the Helen Keller quote about security, "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure."

The meeting was rescheduled and then canceled. He received a call at 8:30am on Friday morning informing him that his access had been terminated.  We were very confused and tried to discern what he was being told. Because he had a high security clearance, they could not let him finish out his last week. The manager reassured us that as far as HR was concerned, nothing about his September 17th end date had changed.

My heart raced for a bit until we were able to process that this was standard operating procedure and had been done with another employee when he left several months ago. He would get his pay for the week but did not have to work! Wow!  It felt like the total grace for all the extra hours he worked and stress he endured. It was a bit unsettling that he no longer had access to his email but texts from his co-workers let him know what they had been told by management; that Tom was leaving on good terms and they had to do this for the sake of computer security.

I am in awe of how we mobilized since we made the decision that it was time for Tom to retire from his current position and the magic of the Universe creating miracles at every turn.  

Health insurance, dental insurance and a new laptop came together with ease. Once he posted his resume, his phone rang off the hook. We prepared both a tech and a non-tech resume. We thought he would do contract work if he stayed in technology or get a job where he could use his incredible interpersonal, customer service and administrative skills.

Plot twist! He has one job offer and is close to getting another offer. He planned on taking the first offer when he had a 2nd interview for a job at another company. He wasn't going to take the interview but it was with a former co-worker from years ago and he was planning to just catch up. The Universe is full of surprises. It was as though no time had passed and the person with whom he interviewed who would be his co-worker said that he would LOVE to work with Tom again. They are expediting the interview process and Tom will have his choice of where he wants to work. Even though he is almost 70 years old, he loves technology, innovation and being part of a collaborative team. Unfortunately, he got burned out and temporarily lost his passion.

What we thought was the worst thing that could have happened to an almost 70 year old man transformed into the best thing that could have happened for spiritual growth for all of us as well as feeling the power of being able to stand up for what is right and true.

We knew it was time for Tom to leave his old job given the physical symptoms he was experiencing from the stress and the reaction to the vaccine but we thought he could just 'hang in there' for several more months while retirement continued to build and COVID subsided. We couldn't have imagined that he would secure another job with benefits for however long he wants to work and to be able to work remote even after the pandemic is under better control.

His health issues have all resolved and the severe back pain he experienced has healed. He feels more vibrant and better than he has in a few years.

We rode a lot of wild waves of emotions these past several weeks intensified by the continued rise in COVID cases. There is continued divisiveness around vaccines and mask mandates. I harness the power of my faith holding a vision of health, healing and well-being for my family, my community, my country and the global community that it's gonna be alright!

 

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.

Tuesday Transformation: Flip the Switch

 

When I set out to heal my life after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in May of 2007, I kept a gratitude journal. I gave thanks for all I experienced and reframed polio, trauma and the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome as gifts. I continue to keep a gratitude journal and pause throughout the day to notice the blessings in my life; sometimes it’s smiling and feeling grateful that we have enough toilet paper and can go grocery shopping with relative ease. I gave thanks in advance for when we would be able to go to Cape Cod and out to dinner again and my heart overflows with gratitude that very soon we will be able to do just that.

 

In the midst of the pandemic, writing poetry helped to keep me focused on transforming anxiety, fear, darkness and uncertainty into gratitude, hope, possibilities, light, love, staying connected to Source.

 

As National Poetry Month continues, I am delighted to share with you:

 

The Switch

 

Flip the switch from darkness

from unwell to well-being

dwell with Source.

 

Generate positive thoughts

current of gratitude

dispels doom and gloom.

 

Electrify imagination

in mind’s eye

ignite possibilities!

 

Shockwaves from past

flashbacks

back to the future!

 

Dampen fears

shift gears

be light hearted.

 

What ifs

glitter and sparkle

light up hope!

 

Rewire recharge

turn on tune in

vibrant optimism.

 

Flip the switch

switch perspective

let the magic begin!

 

Spring is a magical season. I love watching our garden grow and the gradual transformation of barren branches to buds and soon bursting forth with deep green leaves. There is so much to be thankful for this Spring as we emerge from the dark winter of this past year.

 

From my heart to yours

In health and wellness 

Mary

For more information about my journey from childhood polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, visit my website.

 

"Hope is a Garden:Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic" along with all of my books to inspire and uplift you is available on Amazon.