On Mother's Day, Father's Day and Mentors

Mother's Day and Father's Day are holidays that I found difficult to navigate even after Tom and I became parents. It took me a very long time to make the shift from grief to gratitude. Every year as we now approach the celebrations of Mother's Day and Father's Day, I take time out to remember and give thanks for those who have been mentors to me throughout my life. Dr. David Hamilton crafted a gratitude meditation for one of his live sessions on his Personal Development Club that guides us to reflect on a person and reflect on reasons why we are grateful for them. The Optimism Institute's founder, Bill Burke reflected on a few of his mentors on his recent, "A Bit of Blue Sky" podcast. He was inspired, as I am by the "Arts Educators Save the World" podcast. This year, I've decided to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day with a blog post. As I write about these amazing people and how they helped me navigate the incredible challenges of childhood paralytic polio, years of abuse at the hands of family members who were addicted to alcohol and prescription pain medication and later Post-Polio Syndrome, a warm glow of tingles pulses through every cell in my body as I reflect on how deeply grateful I feel for the gift of the presence of these amazing individuals in my life.

 

"Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a broad warm smile

it tempered the pain of being apart to walk I'd take awhile."

~Excerpt from "Running the Race" the first poem I wrote after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome

After contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5, I began rehabilitation with Dr. Eugene Moskowitz and his physical therapist, Miss Holly. Before every painful physical therapy session, she lifted me up into the red leather chair in the waiting room. The round mahogany table with a lamp had Dr. Seuss books splayed on top of it. Miss Holly asked me to choose a book. I invariably chose "The Cat In The Hat". She read it to me and told me to pay close attention. She'd help me to hop off the chair and gently escorted me into the the treatment room, removed my ankle to hip metal leg brace and applied hot woolen blankets on my leg using passive movement to coax my muscles and nerves back to health. She was a woman ahead of her time having me respond to her in tandem. "The sun did not shine it was too wet to play," your turn she'd say, "So we sat inside all that cold cold wet day." It distracted me from the intensely painful sessions and planted the seeds for how I would navigate my life after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome. Here I am 65 years later and I can still see her face and feel her gentle, kind and skillful nature to help me walk again after having been paralyzed by the polio virus.

 

After failed camp experiences that were not conducive to including all abilities in their activities, Dr. Moskowitz, referred me to Badger Sports Camp. Joe Stetz was an Olympic contender in the Butterfly and also had a heart overflowing with kindness and compassion at the tender age of 21. Through the eyes of my 10 year old self, he was tall, dark and handsome, almost god like.

 Several years ago, I reached out to Badger Day Camp letting them know how grateful I am to Joe and for the camp community that left a lasting imprint on my life. I shared with them that, because of Joe and his insistence that I could and would compete in the end of year Butterfly Olympics, I had the courage to take on and finish the 2009 Boston Marathon. There were only two other campers willing to compete in the Butterfly. He knew I had polio but would not let that deter me from competing. He asked me what fears I needed to conquer such as jumping off the starting block and worried that I wouldn't be able to go the distance. He worked with me one on one to ensure my success. He told me to not look to my left or my right but swim my own race in my own lane. When I touched the wall far behind the other two campers, he took my hand, helped me out of the pool and escorted me to the podium where I received my 3rd place plaque. We stayed in touch for several years by letters while he attended Downstate Medical School. He opted to be a doctor rather than compete in the 1964 Olympics. You can read more about Joe in this blog post and how I 'stayed in touch' with him honoring his life and legacy. 

I almost caused an international incident when I took High School French. We had to call the Bibliotheque Francaise in New York City as part of our assignment. They hung up on me when I tried to converse with them in French. But Ms. Barbara Dupres, petite in stature with a huge heart encouraged me to keep working at it. As is true with most who have experienced abuse at home, I was afraid to share anything about what I was experiencing at home but somehow she knew. My study hall period coincided with her free class period. She could have spent the time to recharge or get admin work done but instead she chose to spend that time with me one on one in her classroom during my Senior year. She got me to open up in that safe space about what I endured and what my future plans were. She counseled me. She commuted to Westchester every day to teach at Tuckahoe High School. After graduation, she invited me to meet her "in the City" to help send me off to Boston University. We met at a small cafe where she treated me to lunch and presented me with a going away present: a sewing kit. 

 

It looked similar to this one. She congratulated me with a beautiful card letting me know how proud she was that I was high school valedictorian. Why did she gift me a sewing kit you might ask? She told me that no matter what may get torn apart in life, whatever challenges we face, we always have the opportunity to mend and move forward! I lost touch with her through the years but carried that sewing kit with me until a few years ago when all the thread was used up and the case fell apart.

 

Bernie Siegel,MD or Bernie as he likes to be called became my Bonus Dad in the 1980's. I was hospitalized with a bone infection in my shoulder. My floor nurse, Beth Jordan introduced me to Bernie's work. He's been my coach in my marathon of life and healing on and off the roads. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I joined his Forum as I embarked on the healing journey of transformation of my life. Bernie was with me every step of every mile as I harnessed the power of the mind/body connection, writing poetry, gratitude, optimism and faith to heal the late effects of paralytic polio and trauma. I send him emails and write tribute poems on his birthday expressing my infinite gratitude for the gift of his presence in my life for the past 40 plus years. 

After a trigger injection to alleviate pain from a disc pressing on a nerve in my cervical spine, Dr. Omar ElAbd referred me to physical therapist, Allison Lamarre Poole. In the Dedication of "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibilities" I wrote:

Allison Lamarre Poole, you refused to treat me “like a polio survivor”. It was with you that I took those first tentative and frightening steps of coming home connecting mind, body and Spirit. You helped me to find my courage to leave my career at the VA. Your words continue to echo in my ears, “You’re going to continue with your program right because you don’t ever want to go back to where you were do you?” 

 

The phrase Allison went above and beyond her role as a physical therapist pales in comparison to the care she provided for me mind, body and soul. She formulated a treatment plan to heal the breach in my mind/body connection, build a strong core and work on overall strength, flexibility and endurance. I remember the day she brought me into a room with a biofeedback machine. She demonstrated to me the stress I was experiencing in my office with typing notes, answering the phone and the poor ergonomics of my work station. We had ordered adaptive equipment through the VA which finally came on my last day! She embraced my gift of poetry. We talked about how the creative process heals. When we were at the biofeedback machine, Allison said that despite all the work we were doing together, as long as I had the stress of work especially the emotional stress of caring for veterans, their families and my colleagues, there would be a limit as to how much progress I could make in treatment. Allison followed her bliss in May of 2007 to be a traveling PT and I followed mine to heal my life. We stay in touch and follow each other's adventures. Allison is in private practice in Maine specializing in women's mid-life transition and pelvic health.  

 

I 'met' Dr. David R. Hamilton when I watched the "Heal" Documentary in 2017. I was drawn to his Scottish accent and passion for the mind/body connection through his work in the pharmaceutical industry. I followed him on Facebook. When he put out the call for stories of people who used visualization in their healing journey, I sent him an email. We became fast friends despite the physical distance between us. I joined his Personal Development Club. He has become a wonderful mentor in my life helping me to navigate COVID, Ruth Anne's health care challenges, celebrating my books and gift of poetry. He asked me to read his manuscripts. He has built an amazing community with the Personal Development Club. He exudes kindness and compassion and is willing to take a deep dive into difficult subjects in his live sessions, such as how to navigate fear and divisiveness. He is a beacon of light in my life and all who are blessed to know him. His books, blogs, on line courses and in person appearances are infused with his tag line: "Better you. Backed by science." 

While my biological parents were unable to fulfill the role as mentors in my life, the challenges I faced from an early age were equaled by the amazing people I was blessed to meet to help me thrive. I celebrate them on Mother's Day and Father's Day. But wait...there's more: "While not a widely recognized national holiday, there are several events dedicated to recognizing the importance of mentors and their impact. National Mentoring Month is celebrated in January, and specific dates within that month, like International Mentoring Day (January 17th) and Thank Your Mentor Day (January 25th), are also recognized. Additionally, there is I Am A Mentor Day on January 7th, and National Mentoring Day on October 27th."

 

From my heart to yours--

In health and wellness - Mary

Visit my website to learn how poetry, optimism, gratitude and the mind/body connection helped me to transform my life. After having been told in December 2006 that I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I went on to cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and have many adventures as runnergirl 1953. Be sure to visit the recently updated News and Events Page for links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements and where you can find my incredibly inspirational story.

I was recently the guest on The Optimism Institute Blue Sky Podcast. 
"Mary McManus has never had it easy. As a kindergartner, she was a victim of polio just a short time before the vaccine was introduced. She also faced trauma in her home life but somehow managed to persevere and overcome these and still more obstacles throughout her life. Today, Mary is an inspiring author, poet, motivational speaker, and finisher of the Boston Marathon." Here is the link to the Episode Website. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite podcast platform and on YouTube.

My books share a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities; what's possible despite all appearances to the contrary and are available on Bookshop  My 6th book, "Into the Light:Emerging From the 2020 Pandemic" and my 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" are selections of the WBZ News Radio Book Club. "Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is also a selection Bill Rodgers Running Center Billy's Bookshelf: Recommended Reads for Every Runner. Visit my Author Page on Amazon for rave reviews.

 

 

 

So Much More Than a 10K!

 

 

During my morning meditation a few days ago, thoughts of Joe Stetz came to mind. He was my camp counselor at Badger Day Camp when I was 10 years old. Despite my recovering from paralytic polio, he encouraged me to participate in the end of camp Olympics in, of all strokes, the butterfly stroke. There were only two other campers willing to compete in the butterfly. I was guaranteed a place on the podium regardless of my time. I was terrified to jump off the starting block and had difficulty with being able to propriocept a turn at the wall. Joe told me he would work with me one on one. He was true to his word. On race day, he told me to not look to my left or my right but to swim my own race at my pace. He was there to greet me when I touched the wall at the finish and extended a hand to me to escort me to the podium to receive my third place plaque. The other swimmers finished way ahead of me but none of that mattered. Joe instilled in me what it means to have the heart of a champion. He taught me how to conquer fear and rise above physical limitations. He taught me how to find courage to do what I thought was impossible for me to do.

I saw Joe's Death Notice in the Boston Globe in December of 2004 and gasped to learn that we had worked at St. Elizabeth's Hospital at the same time! I worked as a geriatric social worker and he worked as a cardiothoracic surgeon. He had given up the chance to compete in the Olympics to go to medical school. He died in a single car accident shortly after retirement. In 2019, as I stood at the starting line of the Bermuda Triangle Challenge 10K as a spectator for Tom, I struck up a conversation with the woman standing next to me. Talk about synchronicity! This woman who was doing medical spectating for the course worked at St. Elizabeth's Hospital for 36 years as a nurse in the CCU and ICU. Of course she knew Joe Stetz! We talked about what an incredibly special man and physician he was. It was believed that he suffered a heart attack or stroke while driving. She said what a tragedy it was because he was looking forward to retirement riding his horses and spending time with his daughter and grandchildren. 

 

And in that moment of the starting line of the 2019 Bermuda Marathon Weekend 10K, I connected with a part of my past where the seeds for possibility in my life, despite polio and trauma were planted. I reconnected with the man whose Spirit helped me stare down the challenge of Post-Polio Syndrome and take on running the 2009 Boston Marathon; who inspired me to never ever give up whatever the challenge. After a serious knee injury in December of 2014, after being told I should never have taken up running to begin with and should hang up my running shoes, I went on to run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons. The Universe and Joe's beautiful Spirit brought me to that moment in 2019 standing face to face and heart to heart with Lynn Landry, RN sharing in the glow of a man who changed lives by his very presence for the time he walked this Earth.

Thursday was a cold day. I went for solo miles and experienced such invigorating yet easy miles on the road to the Bermuda Triangle Challenge 10K. I felt the joy of being out on the course and visualizing the finish into the Stadium. I cried and felt goosebumps seeing my Bermuda friends cheering me into the finish. I even dared myself to imagine my friends coming out on the course to accompany me to a strong finish. My steps were mindful. I connected to Source and feel how important it is for me to shine my light and share my powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.

 

When I toe the starting line in just a few weeks, the Bermuda Triangle Challenge 10K is so much more than a 10K for me. It's a celebration of what's possible, 17 years of healing after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome,  turning 70 on Christmas Day and what it means to age strong. In all likelihood, depending on who decides to participate in the 10K Walk, I will be one of the last finishers. I will leave nothing out on the course yet we will be mindful with pace .I will feel Joe Stetz's presence with me every step of the way.

On Saturday, Tom and Ruth Anne joined me for my two miles. It was another gift of a gorgeous December day with temperatures in the 50's. We decided to go to the small Reservoir on Route 9. Tom made sure I kept my pace way down which of course made my anxiety go way up. Tom was quick to point out my taper madness that manifested in questions like, "Is this what the hill is like in Bermuda? Does it stop at the lights or is it the continuation to the corner of Route 9." Ruth Anne and Tom chimed in, "Relax ma/Mary - you've got this!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I know and I feel in every fiber of my being that I've got this. I'm allowing myself to feel the excitement that goes with anticipating an event I have not done in 6 years, traveling on a plane for the first time in 4 years. As Helen Keller once said, "Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." Here's to my next adventure happening in:

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page with links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements and where you can find my incredibly inspirational story.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon

Thank you to Mike Reilly for featuring my story on Stories From the Finish Line Sponsored by CURAD Performance Series to inspire others.

Be sure to subscribe to the On The Runs podcast for stories of individuals who are fierce and determined to overcome challenges, set goals and crush them. Here is the link to my Episode 56.

Be sure to subscribe to their new YouTube Channel to enhance your podcast listening experience!

Be sure to download and subscribe to the AdaptX podcast. Here's the link to my wonderful conversation with host Brendan Aylward sharing my journey of transformation and healing in the wake of polio, Post-Polio syndrome and trauma.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Penny From Heaven

Yesterday after breakfast, I looked down on the dining room floor. There was a penny! I've found pennies and other change on runs before and during the pandemic, found a nickel on the mattress but I have never found a penny in the middle of the floor. Earlier this week, a Facebook memory popped up about Joe Stetz who was my swimming camp counselor at Badger Day Camp:

He is on the far left with dark hair, the warmest smile you could ever imagine and soulful brown eyes.

There was a notification on Facebook from the Badger Day Camp page saying they would be going live yesterday for the end of camp show. I felt goosebumps as I saw the photo of the Olympic size pool where I competed in the end of camp Olympics and smiled with tears in my eyes as the campers rocked out to different songs. I remembered that I was once part of this incredible community where I met a man who instilled in me the heart of a champion and helping me to believe I could achieve anything.

The penny was dated 2008; the year I started training to run the 2009 Boston Marathon!

 Joe was my swimming counselor when I attended Badger Day Camp. When I was 10 years old, after two failed camp experiences, my physiatrist who was helping me recover from polio, suggested I go to Badger Day Camp because they focused on swimming and opened their hearts to all abilities. Joe was on track to become a competitor in the 1964 Olympics in the Butterfly but instead he chose to become a physician.

There were only 2 other campers competing in the end of Camp Olympics in the butterfly and Joe, with his soulful brown eyes told me that I needed to be the third competitor. I was guaranteed a place on the medal stand. I couldn't believe that he wanted me to compete. I told him all of my fears while not revealing what was happening in my home life enduring sexual abuse at the hands of my father, but focusing on the effects of paralytic polio. He told me he would work with me one on one to conquer my fears. After I came in third place, long after the other two swimmers finished their races, he lovingly extended a hand to me to help me out of the pool. He walked with me to the medal stand where I received a bronze plaque for 3rd place. He believed in me as a father would and nourished my abilities. I drew from what he taught me after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome when I decided to run the 2009 Boston Marathon despite all the odds. His last day of camp hug left a lasting imprint on my heart and soul. We wrote letters back and forth to each other while he was in med school. Life went on until I discovered his Death Notice in the Boston Globe in December of 2004.

I did a google search to learn more about the incredible life of the man who helped me navigate the turbulent waters of my childhood.  I was stunned to discover that we worked at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center at the same time when I worked as a social worker on the inpatient geriatric psychiatric unit.

From the Special Forces Association Tribute:

In 1971, Dr. Joseph J. Stetz, Jr.  was drafted by the Army as part of the Berry Plan, which utilized young physicians and surgeons who had just completed residencies. Captain (Dr) Stetz was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, and his two daughters were born there in 1972 and 1973.  He completed a Basic Airborne Course conducted in Okinawa.  In 1973, he returned to the United States and was stationed at Cutler Army Hospital, Fort Devens, MA.  After completing his Active Duty obligation, Major Stetz joined the RI Army National Guard (that desperately needed doctors) on one condition: he would be attached to Special Forces.  Joe attended weekend training assemblies and Annual Training with SF in addition to fulfilling the requirements of RIARNG State Surgeon.  Joe also became qualified as a Flight Surgeon.  He would quietly remain in the background during SF operations.  However, when SF soldiers were injured, he would immediately come to their aid.  Joe would accompany them to the ER and take charge of their care.  Colonel (Dr) Joseph J. Stetz, Jr. retired after 30 years of service.  Joe was a Charter Member (D3819) of Chapter 48, SFA.

From the Boston Globe Obituary:

Dr. Joseph J. Stetz Jr. of Lexington, who picked medical school over a chance to compete in the Olympic swimming trials, was a man of few words except when it came to medicine.  The former surgeon, who wore cowboy boots and was known to give hugs to patients, died Saturday at Boston Medical Center at age 62. He died 12 hours after he was in a single-car accident in Lexington. A family member said he died after his blood pressure dropped.

"He was an old-school doctor who didn't mind giving patients a much-needed hug," said Bernadette Trenholm, Dr. Stetz's personal administrator and close friend. "Appointments were always as long as they needed to be with him. If the patients needed two hours, Dr. Stetz would give them two hours."  Dr. Stetz was a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center in Brighton for two decades until his retirement in October.

Dr. Stetz grew up in Manhattan and spent a lot of time swimming; his father was a swim coach. Dr. Stetz swam competitively at Harvard University and qualified for the 1964 Summer Olympic trials while a student. But Dr. Stetz, a butterfly specialist, faced tremendous family pressure to go to medical school and chose medicine over an Olympic bid. He received his medical degree from the SUNY Health Science Center at Brooklyn in 1968. In 1967 he married Estelle Manetas.  He spent many Thanksgivings and holidays working. "He had no problem staying up till 2 a.m. at the patient's bedside," Trenholm said. "There were times that he would perform three open heart surgeries a day, and up to 600 a year."

Medical textbooks and magazines took up a great deal of space in his Lexington home. "He was an avid reader," his daughter Jessica said. "He kept every magazine, every book, and every article."  Jessica, of Brooklyn, works in emergency medicine at SUNY Health Science Center at Brooklyn, her father's alma mater.  "He was extremely dedicated to his work and had a huge desire to always read and learn more," Jessica said. "Medicine is something we bonded over."

Dr. Stetz's other daughter, Rebecca of Oxford, England, has a doctorate in chemistry and works at Oxford University.Dr. Stetz was interested in the outdoors. He had a Stetson hat and several pairs of cowboy boots. He loved riding Sassy, his horse of 15 years, and dreamed of moving to Montana, his daughter Jessica said. Until recently, Dr. Stetz rode his horse several times a week. In addition to his daughters and former wife, Dr. Stetz leaves a granddaughter, Julia."

Fast forward to the starting line of the 2017 Bermuda 10K. I was waiting for Tom to begin his race. As spectators often do, we struck up a conversation. She was a nurse who was scoping out the race as part of a medical preparedness team.

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"We live not far from Boston," she replied.

 "Oh interesting. May I ask where you work?" (I have no idea why I asked her that question!)

 "I work at St. Elizabeth's."

 My breath caught. She mentioned she'd been there for many years.

"By any chance did you know Dr. Joe Stetz?" I  inquired.

"I sure did!," and she went on to ask me about how I knew him.

We shared stories and our eyes filled with tears. She told me that Joe injured his hand changing the oil in his car and was devastated that he could no longer practice surgery. She shared that he was looking forward to retirement having time to read books, enjoy his grandchild and ride horses. The gun went off and we went our separate ways but not before I felt goosebumps from head to toe remembering Joe.

I know Joe sent me that penny yesterday to remind me of how one person can make such a difference in the lives of another through kindness, compassion and sharing their talents and treasures. He wanted me to share the story with each of you so that if you have the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life - do it! And if someone has touched your life, reflect and remember with heartfelt gratitude. Even though their physical presence may be gone, their love and care lives on forever.

 
 

 

 From my heart to yours--

 

In health and wellness - Mary

Visit my website to learn how poetry, optimism, gratitude and the mind/body connection helped me to transform my life. After having been told in December 2006 that I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I went on to cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and have many adventures as runnergirl 1953. Be sure to visit the recently updated News and Events Page for links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements and where you can find my incredibly inspirational story.

Be sure to visit my Author Page on Amazon. My books share a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities; what's possible despite all appearances to the contrary.   My 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is receiving rave reviews. It's a selection of the WBZ News Radio Book Club  and Bill Rodgers Running Center Billy's Bookshelf: Recommended Reads for Every Runner.

Father's Day Reflections

 From the upcoming "Into the Light: Emerging From the 2020 Pandemic":

 

 Father's Day Reflections 2021

 

Father's Day celebrations had always been difficult for me. My social media news feed is filled with pictures of fathers with adoring posts about how wonderful their fathers were or are. I realize there are many out there who had circumstances similar to mine and may have experienced the same pangs as I did. Yet this year, in the wake of the pandemic, that ache is transformed and transcended. I feel deep abiding joy for those who share in the love of fathers and grandfathers and who can once again be reunited for Father’s Day Celebrations. My heart overflows with compassion for those whose beloved fathers have died and people feel moved to share their photos from years past. And my heart overflows with gratitude as I reflect on those who have been like a father to me.

 

Joe Stetz was my swimming counselor when I attended Badger Day Camp. When I was 10 years old, after two failed camp experiences, my physiatrist who was helping me recover from polio, suggested I go to Badger Day Camp because they focused on swimming and opened their hearts to all abilities. Joe was on track to become a competitor in the 1964 Olympics in the Butterfly but instead he chose to become a physician. {Joe is on the far right in the photo that Badger Camp sent to me several years ago.}

Here is the photo from one of his In Memoriam articles:

There were only 2 other campers competing in the end of Camp Olympics in the butterfly and Joe, with his soulful brown eyes told me that I needed to be the third competitor. I was guaranteed a place on the medal stand. I couldn't believe that he wanted me to compete. I told him all of my fears while not revealing what was happening in my home life but focusing on the effects of paralytic polio. He told me he would work with me one on one to conquer my fears and develop within me the heart of a champion. After I came in third place, long after the other two swimmers finished their races, he lovingly extended a hand to me to help me out of the pool. He walked with me to the medal stand where I received a bronze plaque for 3rd place. He believed in me as a father would and nourished my abilities. I drew from what he taught me after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome when I decided to run the 2009 Boston Marathon despite all the odds. His last day of camp hug left a lasting imprint on my heart and soul. There were many times during the pandemic when I drew on its strength.

 

I discovered his Death Notice in the Boston Globe in December of 2004 and did a google search to learn more about the incredible life of the man who helped me navigate the turbulent waters of my childhood.  I was stunned to discover that we worked at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center at the same time when I worked as a social worker on the inpatient geriatric psychiatric unit.

 

I 'just happened' to be standing next to a woman at the starting line of the 2017 Bermuda 10K waiting for Tom to begin his race. As runners often do, we struck up a conversation. She was a nurse who was scoping out the race as part of a medical preparedness team.

 

 "Where are you from?" I asked.

 

"We live not far from Boston," she replied.

 

 "Oh interesting. May I ask where you work?"

 

"I work at St. Elizabeth's."

 

My breath caught. She mentioned she'd been there for many years.

"By any chance did you know Dr. Joe Stetz?" I  inquired.

 

"I sure did!," and she went on to ask me about how I knew him.

 

We shared stories and our eyes filled with tears. She told me that Joe injured his hand changing the oil in his car and was devastated that he could no longer practice surgery. She shared that he was looking forward to retirement having time to read books, enjoy his grandchild and ride horses. His legacy as a father and grandfather lives on in the hearts of all who were blessed to know him.

 

Bernie Siegel became what he affectionately calls my Chosen Dad or CD. He has become a Chosen Dad to many, like myself, who were abused and abandoned and who lost faith in ourselves. Disease manifested in our bodies and Bernie coaches us to reparent ourselves with his wisdom and guidance. We have had this beautiful relationship since the 1980's when a nurse first introduced me to his ground breaking work in the field of mind/body medicine.

 

  

After I sent him my recent book, "Hope is a Garden: Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic" he sent me an email blessing me and asking me if I'd been on his radio show to share it. I've had many interviews through the years but our conversation on Dreamvisions 7 Radio deeply touched my heart and soul. He was so proud of what I had created with the Divine and his love poured forth from his heart to me. 

 

{A photo of Bernie, daughter Ruth Anne and me at one of Bernie's talks at Newton Wellesley Hospital}:

 

During the pandemic we have all learned, "Tomorrow is never promised. Don't wait to tell someone how you feel." I sent Bernie a Father's Day card this year. Much to my surprise, he sent me a card back to me blessing me and letting me know I am now a BD = Bonus Daughter. He is going to be 89 years young in October and I cherish every moment we share together. It was such a powerful healing moment for me this Father's Day Weekend. We are so blessed to have Bernie's books and meditations fill our homes. His meditations are like a lullaby that we listen to as we drift off to sleep. We maintain contact with him through social media and email.

 

In years past, I would quickly scroll past photos and Fathers Day posts just wanting to 'make it through' the day. The pandemic has been a great force for transformation and growth. I am excited to celebrate Father's Day sharing those who have been like a father to me, being blessed with a husband who has been a wonderful father to our twins and to my friends in social media as they share all the feels on Father's Day 2021.

 

This Father's Day, I am excited to celebrate Tom, the father of our twins:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

and the men who loved me and coached me as a biological father would for his own children.

 
From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon 

Letting Go of Fear and Worry!

 

I've been riding the waves that go with a big life change of Tom's retirement. While I limit my exposure to news, the "dreadlines" seemed to have had a bigger impact on me in recent days. I found myself getting stuck in a cycle of worry and fear. I know that worrying is praying for something we do not want to have happen and that it is vital to look within to create my outer world. I believe we are all feeling a little weary of the ongoing pandemic, extreme weather and fires and a "shaky" economic outlook.

After being in my head for a bit during our 5K run, I shared with Tom and Ruth Anne what was weighing me down. With the vast ocean on my right and loving daughter and husband by my side, I was able to purge myself of the fear and worry. I ended up doing major negative splits on our 5K dripping with sweat and a little dizzy from my effort. Cold water, a banana and a picnic lunch was the quick remedy to help me recover.

 

My favorite quote from Ruth Anne was, "Mom...how can you let these dreary thoughts be on such a perfect day?"

She was right! 

 

 We played in the water and "practiced" our synchronized swimming feeling the joy of just being in the moment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As we sat in the sun drying off from our swim, this poem flowed through me:

Baptism

Feet glide along silky silt ocean’s floor
wading into gentle waves
expanding
fathom infinite gratitude and love
warm sun on skin
seagulls song entreating.

Dive into faith
releasing fears
fully present
prepared to receive gift of new life
past washed away in tide
only good tidings.

Source’s presence palpable
as joy rises from depths of soul
return to innocence
carefree
just Be
believe!

Seize the moment
seas current comforts
get carried away
on this end of summer day
delicious delight
as heart takes flight. 

A run, a swim, lots of sun and connecting to Source were the perfect combination to help me release fear and worry and embrace infinite possibilities for a new chapter in our life.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.

Running on Vitamin Sea and Vitamin D

 I have been relishing every step of my runs this week. Shalane Flanagan's quote sums up the power and joy of running. It has been a God send after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006 when I imagined myself running the race instead of spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair as the doctors predicted for me.

While I always celebrate the gift of running in my life, this week running has been a sanctuary and a time to process and debrief from all that happened at Tom's work this past year that led to our leap of faith decision.  There's been a lot of stress during the transition especially from two of the managers and it's been a major trauma trigger for me. I also experienced the trigger of my dad's suicide 50 years ago when we ended up needing to declare bankruptcy after his death. 

Through meditation and staying connected to Source, heeding the messages I was receiving through songs on the radio, friends Facebook posts and conversations with friends and family, I pried my body out of the past and into experiencing the delicious gift of present moments. Tom is almost 70 years old and I will be 68 on Christmas Day. We will be married 45 years next year. While we both want to live and enjoy being in our physical bodies for years to come, we are keenly aware how tomorrow is never promised as we've seen during the pandemic.

As I've shifted my energy, I've started seeing a shift in the news I am receiving. Immunity is not waning as originally thought. There is a halt on rushing out to get a booster shot as the vaccine proves to be highly effective. Vaccination rates are on the rise and while masks are needed right now, there is much hope that the pandemic will become something that we live with such as colds or the flu.

Today was a glorious end of summer day. A vibrant blue sky with white puffy clouds, warm sunshine and low humidity made for perfect weather for our Saturday morning run. Even though Tom is on his last on call weekend for work, we went to South Boston for our run. My soul was craving to be near the ocean. Right before we were about to leave we were inspired to pack a picnic, beach chairs and towels just in case we wanted to put our toes in the water after our run.

We had a splendid run:

Because of the pandemic, they removed porta potties along the route. I suggested we wait until we get back to the bathrooms at the beach or go in the ocean but there was no time to waste. Apparently this happened to Tom while out on long runs and he knew how to get into the health club at a nearby apartment complex. I waited outside trusting I could wait until I got back to the beach. Tom said that we were residents and the security gentleman let them use the rest rooms.

Just as we were about to finish the run Tom asked, "Where's my phone?" He had to run back to get it. I prayed the entire time that it was still in the rest room and no one would ask him about what unit he lived in or his name. After I went to the bathroom and Ruth Anne and I were unloading our picnic, I received a text. Tom took a selfie and he looked incredibly satisfied with the successful outcome of his mission.

The sun was hot but there was a comfortable breeze to keep us cool. We would have been fine to just sit on the beach. But the water called to us. We both love to swim and with the pandemic, we have avoided gyms like well, the plague. We didn't have our bathing suits. That has never stopped us before from going into the ocean after a run.

Fortunately it was high tide. We did not have to walk far to get into water where we could swim. At low tide we have to walk on mud. The mud provided a smooth bottom (rather than the rocks that are typical of the beaches in South Boston) as we waded into the cold water. Ruth Anne dove in before me and she encouraged me with a 1-2-3 go. It was a baptism into the new phase of life we are entering with Tom's retirement from full time technology work and Ruth Anne returning to part time work and graduate school. I have more time to focus on writing and am working on a new project based off of "Hope is a Garden: Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic."

After playing in the water together, we dried off in the sun before heading home.

We grilled salmon to have with a salad made with farm fresh vegetables we bought at Boston College's RealFood Club Farmer's Market yesterday. 

Today was one of those perfect 10 days that was a reflection of a lot of inner work I have been doing this past month. Meditation, faith, clearing out old thought patterns and beliefs culminated in a day over-flowing with joy, health and well-being. My heart overflowed with infinite gratitude for the gift of being alive with all of life's blessings and stressings. With Love, gratitude, faith and shifting attention away from fear and old beliefs, we can heal and overcome creating infinite possibilities in our lives. 

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

My books to uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon.

Visit my website to learn more about my journey of transformation in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Be sure to visit my News and Events tab on my website to hear interviews that will open your heart and mind to a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities.