Father's Day Reflections 2021

 

 

Father's Day celebrations had always been difficult for me. My social media news feed is filled with pictures current and past of fathers with adoring posts about how wonderful their fathers were or are.  I realize there are many out there who had circumstances similar to mine and may have experienced the same pangs as I did. Yet this year, in the wake of the pandemic, that ache is transformed and transcended. I feel deep abiding joy for those who share in the love of fathers and grandfathers and who can once again be reunited for Fathers Day Celebrations. My heart overflows with compassion for those whose beloved fathers have died and people feel moved to share their photos from years past. And my heart overflows with gratitude as I reflect on those who have been like a father to me.

Joe Stetz was my swimming counselor when I attended Badger Day Camp. I had contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5, and 3 years later, endured abuse at the hands of my father and grandmother {which continued until I was 17 when my father ended his life.} When I was 10 years old, after two failed camp experiences, my physiatrist suggested I go to Badger Day Camp because they focused on swimming and opened their hearts to all abilities. Joe was on track to become a competitor in the 1964 Olympics in the Butterfly but instead he chose to become a physician. 

 

There were only 2 other campers competing in the end of Camp Olympics in the butterfly and Joe, with his soulful brown eyes told me that I needed to be the third competitor. I was guaranteed a place on the medal stand. I couldn't believe that he wanted me to compete. I told him all of my fears (not revealing what was happening in my home life but focusing on the effects of paralytic polio). He told me he would work with me one on one and on race day, after I came in third place long after the other two swimmers finished their races, he helped me out of the pool and escorted me to the medal stand where I received a bronze plaque for 3rd place. He believed in me as a father would and nourished my abilities and the heart of a champion. I drew from what he taught me after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome when I decided to run the 2009 Boston Marathon despite all the odds. His last day of camp hug left a lasting imprint on my heart and soul. There were many times during the pandemic when I drew on its strength.

I discovered his Death Notice in the Boston Globe in December of 2004 and found this photo along with more information about his life. I was stunned to discover that we worked at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center at the same time when I worked as a social worker on the inpatient geriatric psychiatric unit. 

 

 

 

 

  

As total grace from the Divine, I 'just happened' to be standing next to a woman at the starting line of the 2017 Bermuda 10K waiting for my husband to begin his race. As runners so often do, we started talking. She was a nurse who was scoping out the race as part of medical preparedness. "Where are you from?" I asked. "We live not far from Boston," she replied. "Where do you work?" "I work at St. Elizabeth's." My breath caught. She mentioned she'd been there for many years. "By any chance did you know Dr. Joe Stetz?" I inquired. "I sure did!," and she went on to ask me about how I knew him. We shared stories and our eyes filled with tears. She told me that Joe injured his hand changing the oil in his car and was devastated that he could no longer practice surgery but was looking forward to retirement having time to read books, enjoy his grandchild and ride horses. His legacy as a father and grandfather lives on in the hearts of all who were blessed to know him.

Bernie Siegel became what he affectionately calls my Chosen Dad or CD. He has become a Chosen Dad to many, like myself, who were abused and abandoned and who lost faith in ourselves. Disease manifested in our bodies and Bernie coaches us to reparent ourselves with his wisdom and guidance. We have had this beautiful relationship since the 1980's when a nurse first introduced me to his ground breaking work in the field of mind/body medicine.

After I sent him my recent book, "Hope is a Garden: Poems and Essays From the 2020 Pandemic" he sent me an email blessing me and asking me if I'd been on his radio show to share it.

I've had many interviews through the years but our conversation on Dreamvisions 7 Radio deeply touched my heart and soul. He was so proud of what I had created with the Divine and his love poured forth from his heart to me. 

Two lessons we have all learned from the pandemic is. "Tomorrow is never promised. Don't wait to tell someone how you feel." I sent Bernie a Father's Day card this year. Much to my surprise, he sent me a card back to me blessing me and letting me know I am now a BD = Bonus Daughter. He is going to be 89 years young in October and I cherish every moment we share together. It was such a powerful healing moment for me this Father's Day Weekend.

In years past, I would quickly scroll past photos and Fathers Day posts just wanting to 'make it through' the day. The pandemic has been a great force for transformation and growth. I am excited to celebrate Father's Day sharing those who have been like a father to me, being blessed with a husband who has been a wonderful father to our twins and to my friends in social media as they share all the feels on Father's Day 2021.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to listen to my conversation with Greg Chastain and Ed Siegel on their Voices of Hope podcast, The Cardinal Cafe. From Greg Chastain: The latest episode of The Cardinal Cafe is up! On this episode we meet Mary McManus. Mary is a motivational speaker, author, poet, 2009 Boston Marathon Finisher, polio and trauma survivor. She has a remarkable story of resilence, healing, Hope and possibilities. Once you hear her tell her story you will want to rush out to purchase her newest book of poems “Hope is a Garden” which she wrote during the recent pandemic. So please join us for this incredible story.

For more information about my journey from childhood polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, visit my website.  

Be sure to check out my website's News and Events page for upcoming and past interviews where I share my remarkable and inspirational journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma.

My books to inspire and uplift you are available on Amazon.