I'm Now Off the Sidelines..or...

 for someone who was supposed to be in a wheelchair, you run pretty fast!

Wow it's been a little over 16 years (December 2006) since I was given the life changing diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. In February of 2007, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. The answer came in the form of a poem, 'Running the Race' and then a volume of poems flowed through me healing my past and creating a future very different than the one the doctors predicted for me. Little did I know at the time, that poem would foreshadow my 2009 Boston Marathon run. Here are the final stanzas of the poem:

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

While I ran several virtual races during the pandemic, I had recently shied away from being a part of any races. I haven't wanted to give any extra energy to a reaction I had to the vaccine booster in May of 2021,  and so haven't posted about my running or shared about the reaction I had. I've been consistent with my health and wellness routine of strength training twice a week and going out to get my miles in three times a week. I walked/ran through the discomfort.

I gave thanks to my body for whatever it could give me while focusing on feeling the healing harnessing the power of the mind/body connection. I was focused on being support crew for Tom and Ruth Anne as they were training for the Providence Half Marathon to raise money and awareness for Victory Programs. I was not focused on self-care. In February of 2022, I knew my body needed a break. I wrote a blog, Rest and Hope. Little by little, my body responded to the much needed rest and being able to better express my needs to the family amidst the whirlwind of activity that was happening in our lives. But the symptoms persisted. I continued to harness the power of the mind/body connection and peeling back the layers of childhood trauma that still needed to heal. I focused on patience and compassion for and with myself.

I decided that I would focus on strengths and abilities letting go of any time goals and enjoy being outdoors in every kind of weather. I would cheer on Tom and Ruth Anne at their races. We would go in opposite directions around the Reservoirs near where we live or as we ran around Jamaica Pond to give high fives and selfies. 

On November 30th, I played around with speed work on a short neighborhood run. I saved photos of a 14 and 15 minute mile pace remembering when I was able to maintain that pace for a 5 or 10K. 

 

 

Several weeks ago, I revamped my strength training workouts feeling enough was enough. I incorporated some of the workouts that Tom and Ruth Anne were doing to complement their running. I knew I needed to make a shift rather than feeling stuck with the cycle of symptoms that persisted. I intensified my meditations and visualization. I released attachment to any specific outcomes. I saw posts from Dr. Joe Dispenza who reminded me that there are no limits to the body's capacity to heal. One of his posts said Believe...Behave...Become. I needed to once again embody the me I was always meant to be beyond trauma and paralytic polio, and how my body responded to the vaccine despite my best efforts to ensure ease and comfort after receiving the booster.

Ruth Anne has been asking me about doing a race with her and Tom that was walker pace friendly. In my mind I thought my racing days were over. In my heart and spirit I knew otherwise. I was hesitant, but Ruth Anne insisted we do the Virtual First Run 5K/10K. When I looked at the last finisher from 2022, I said there was no way I could get close to that pace for the 5K and suggested I be support crew for them running the 10K. But she was quick to point out that if we did a Virtual Race, I wouldn't have to feel the pressure of what if I finish last or the finish line closes before I finish. The last finisher of 2022 finished at a 19:18 minute pace. I'd been doing an average of a 20+ minute/mile pace. 

When I got up this morning, I felt pre-race jitters like I had not felt in a very long time, especially since I had not run a race in a very long time! This quote came to me during my morning meditation:

Yes it's a new day and a new year and it's time to harness the power of strength from the Divine and new thoughts transforming the physical sensations I experienced after my booster shot. During our drive home from a day trip to Falmouth last week, we were treated to a spectacular sunset that became a magnificent light show in the sky. As I saw the magnificence of that sunset, I drew energy from it to incorporate into my healing. In my meditations and visualizations, I anchored to my previous success as a runner.

I had no idea what my body could give me today but whatever it was I would be grateful and celebrate the gift of being outdoors on a glorious day for 1/1/2023. 55 degrees and sunny is a gift from Mother Nature in Boston in January as winter took a hiatus for now.

I embraced the miracle of healing that allows me to get outside and go for 3.11 miles whatever the time.

Team McManus had a perfect pre-race morning. We were in perfect rhythm getting ready to go to the 'starting line.' at the Cleveland Circle Reservoir.

We did a warm up before we left the house. My thought for the day was a quote that my beloved personal trainer Janine Hightower (who tragically passed in March of 2022) used, "Let's see what this body can do."

Tom and Ruth Anne warmed up with me. I did not look at my pace and ran from the inside out. I remembered how it felt to cross a finish line with a PR. It was a glorious day although at times there was a headwind. I powered through the headwinds and also took a few moments to take photos and enjoy the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We go in opposite directions so we can meet up on the course to take a selfie:

and a photo of Ruth Anne:

 

Tom asked me what my pace was during one of our high five meet ups. I had not been looking at my pace until he asked. "Oh it's 18 something."

"Wow - you're crushing it," he said.

Tom and Ruth Anne were close by when I had .11 to go. They do a run/walk and said that it was time for their walk so they would finish my race with me.

I asked Ruth Anne what our pace was on her Garmin.

"It's a 19:00 minute mile."

At that point, I wanted to finish strong.

"We have to go faster. Pace me."

"Oops. That was lap time not pace right now."

We laughed and talked about how the power of belief can alter perception.

I went as fast as I could to finish. Tom and Ruth Anne suggested I stretch and sit in the sun while they finished their 10K. 

 When I saw my pace I was at once stunned and exhilarated. I looked through Nike+ statistics and the last time I had run an 18 minute pace was in March of 2021 at an 18:20 minute/mile.

Here are my statistics from today's race:

My average pace was 18:42 with an overall time of 58:14. I looked at the finishers' times for the in person race. There were 8 people who finished with times after my time. Who would have thought I could have been a successful back of the pack runner with the way I was feeling up until a few weeks ago and doing paces in the 20+ range.

What happened today was a miracle. I had no idea what pace I was doing during the race. I felt this profound connection to the Divine running my race at my pace releasing all attachment to the outcome. One of the intentions I set last night for 2023 was to break the sound barrier on once perceived limitations. I put together a Guidelines to Live By for 2023 at the prompting of one of my Facebook friends:

Guidelines to Live By for 2023: Open my heart to infinite possibilities. Gratitude for all my blessings Choose faith over fear. Expand and create Feel joy Harness the power of mood shifters Connect with like hearted souls Go on a trip Celebrate life’s moments big and small Carpe diem Be grateful Make time for meditation and self care Break the sound barrier of once perceived limitations Let go of control and lean into whatever may be happening Replace judging thoughts with thoughts of tenderness and kindness

Day one has been a most spectacular day for me and for Team McManus. For the first time in a very very long time I feel that I'm now off the sidelines. I am so excited for all the adventures that this New Year is going to bring both on the roads and in my life.

Here's the full text of "Running the Race":

Running the Race   

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear.
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, alone and afraid tried to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.                                            

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

Happy New Year to you and yours. Cheers to a year overflowing with healing, hope and infinite possibilities!

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon