Portal to Possibilities

In December of 2006,  I sat in the waiting room listening to the soundtrack to Wicked on my  CD Player. Two songs, "Defying Gravity" and "Dancing through Life" spoke to my soul. I sat in a toe up leg brace and was using a cane for support. I waited to hear my fate from the team of physiatrist, speech therapy, physical therapy and occupational therapy based on the recent evaluations I had since October of 2006.

I was ushered into the airless conference room where white coats seemed whiter by the glare of fluorescent lights. One by one the therapists shared their assessments. The decision was unanimous that my clinical presentation was consistent with Post-Polio Syndrome, a diagnosis of exclusion. My only "hope" was to quit my job and go on disability. My job was my career. I was at the height of my award-winning career as a VA social worker. 

We highly recommend a Sleep Apnea machine at night. Based on your swallowing assessment you may need a feeding tube in the future since you are at high risk for aspirating your food due to your weak swallow muscles. We recommend a semi-soft diet, drinking liquids through a straw and not talking while you eat to diminish the risk of choking. Given the progressive nature of the disease, you will need to either adapt your Cape house or move to a ranch. They handed me a thick binder with resources for housing, wheelchairs, applying for social security disability and patient education.

I know they meant well. They were sharing information based on what other polio survivors were experiencing but I often wonder what other polio survivors may have experienced had the message they received been one that my physiatrist who treated me after contracting polio in 1959, wrote in an Op-Ed piece in the NY Times:

Caution and Hope On Polio 'Signs'
Published: March 3, 1985
I read with interest the article entitled ''A Group for Polio Survivors Who Have New Symptoms'' (Feb. 10).

Having supervised the rehabilitation of poliomyelitis patients at Grasslands Hospital during the epidemics of the 50's and 60's, probably including the ''then'' infants mentioned in the article, I would like to add a word of caution and even hope as an afterthought.

Firstly, there is no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cord. After 30 years, one must accept some loss of endurance, increased fatigue and even some discomfort induced by other unrelated medical problems. This is true in the athlete with repeated injuries, in the obese person with back problems and even in the jogger with foot ailments.

Any individual with paralytic disability in an extremity will experience the normal process of ''wear and tear'' except that it may be more difficult to adjust to it. Just as one learned to compensate for the initial impairment so must one adjust to the later, more subtle changes rather than develop an emotional hang up of being a ''polio victim.'' ~EUGENE MOSKOWITZ, M.D. Mount Vernon

I found this article after I set out on my healing quest.

For my Christmas/Birthday holiday, I went to Bermuda. I used a wheelchair to travel. I relied on my toe up leg brace and cane, hugging banisters if I had to navigate stairs. My travel agent with whom I had also become friends told me I had to watch "The Secret." She inundated me with very different resources: Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins and “new age thinkers” that were really based on ancient wisdom that included Bernie Siegel. I had been intimately familiar with Bernie's work ever since 1984 but had gotten away from his wisdom and teachings that talk about the meaning of dis-eases that manifest in a person's body. 

After an MRI of my cervical spine indicated there was a nerve pressing on a disc, the physiatrist on the team referred me to Dr El Abd. There was a flicker of light in the dark night of my mind, body and soul. When Dr. El Abd looked at my MRI, he said, "This is a slam dunk." He focused on pain relief and wondered why I lived with the pain for 10 years before seeking help. So did I! After the 2nd trigger injection, he suggested I see his PT at the downtown Spaulding Rehab Outpatient Clinic. 

Shortly before my first appointment with Allison Lamarre-Poole in February of 2007,  I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. The poem, 'Running the Race' flowed out of me. It opened the portal to possibilities as poetry flowed out of me. I imagined a future very different than the one the Team predicted for me. I was harnessing the power of the mind/body connection to inspire me to heal from the once devastating effects of paralytic polio and childhood trauma. Allison let me know through words, actions and her incredible professional care as a PT, that I was not destined to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. 

With her support and encouragement and the support of my family, I took a leap of faith leaving behind my award-winning social work career to heal my life. Little did I know that Running the Race foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run!!!

By all appearances crossing the Boston Marathon finish line was impossible; becoming a most unlikely runner and coming back after injuries and an adverse reaction to the 2nd COVID vaccine to have many adventures as runnergirl 1953? Out of the realm of possibilities! Only it was and is all so possible.

I may not have another marathon to run. Once was enough to show to myself and others what is possible despite all appearances to the contrary. I did come back after a serious knee injury in December 2014 when, by all appearances on the MRI, I was destined to have a total knee replacement in a few years. I went on to run 3 Bermuda Half Marathons in 2016, 2017 and 2018, and the 2016 Hyannis 10K. After an adverse reaction to the 2nd COVID vaccine in 2021/2022, I once again harnessed the power of my imagination through visualization and the mind/body connection and on 5/4/2024, went the distance of a 10K  again in a virtual run. I am training for the distance of a half marathon this year and my goal race is the 2026 Hyannis 10K.

Unbelievable? Perhaps. Impossible? Absolutely not! There is always a portal to possibilities; an open door to find the path forward. The path forward for me may have been to live my life in a wheelchair. If that would have been my destiny, I was sure going to do it "Dancing Through Life." But my destiny called me to one of "Defying Gravity."

From my heart to yours--

In health and wellness - Mary

Visit my website to learn how poetry, optimism, gratitude and the mind/body connection helped me to transform my life. After having been told in December 2006 that I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I went on to cross the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and have many adventures as runnergirl 1953. Be sure to visit the recently updated News and Events Page for links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements and where you can find my incredibly inspirational story.

My books are available on Bookshop that share a powerful message of healing, hope and possibilities; what's possible despite all appearances to the contrary. Be sure to visit my Author Page on Amazon   My 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is receiving rave reviews and is a selection of the WBZ News Radio Book Club .