Yesterday after breakfast, I looked down on the dining room floor. There was a penny! I've found pennies and other change on runs before and during the pandemic, found a nickel on the mattress but I have never found a penny in the middle of the floor. Earlier this week, a Facebook memory popped up about Joe Stetz who was my swimming camp counselor at Badger Day Camp:
He is on the far left with dark hair, the warmest smile you could ever imagine and soulful brown eyes.
There was a notification on Facebook from the Badger Day Camp page saying they would be going live yesterday for the end of camp show. I felt goosebumps as I saw the photo of the Olympic size pool where I competed in the end of camp Olympics and smiled with tears in my eyes as the campers rocked out to different songs. I remembered that I was once part of this incredible community where I met a man who instilled in me the heart of a champion and helping me to believe I could achieve anything.
The penny was dated 2008; the year I started training to run the 2009 Boston Marathon!
Joe was my swimming counselor when I attended Badger Day Camp. When I was 10 years old, after two failed camp experiences, my physiatrist who was helping me recover from polio, suggested I go to Badger Day Camp because they focused on swimming and opened their hearts to all abilities. Joe was on track to become a competitor in the 1964 Olympics in the Butterfly but instead he chose to become a physician.
There were only 2 other campers competing in the end of Camp Olympics in the butterfly and Joe, with his soulful brown eyes told me that I needed to be the third competitor. I was guaranteed a place on the medal stand. I couldn't believe that he wanted me to compete. I told him all of my fears while not revealing what was happening in my home life enduring sexual abuse at the hands of my father, but focusing on the effects of paralytic polio. He told me he would work with me one on one to conquer my fears. After I came in third place, long after the other two swimmers finished their races, he lovingly extended a hand to me to help me out of the pool. He walked with me to the medal stand where I received a bronze plaque for 3rd place. He believed in me as a father would and nourished my abilities. I drew from what he taught me after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome when I decided to run the 2009 Boston Marathon despite all the odds. His last day of camp hug left a lasting imprint on my heart and soul. We wrote letters back and forth to each other while he was in med school. Life went on until I discovered his Death Notice in the Boston Globe in December of 2004.
I did a google search to learn more about the incredible life of the man who helped me navigate the turbulent waters of my childhood. I was stunned to discover that we worked at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center at the same time when I worked as a social worker on the inpatient geriatric psychiatric unit.
From the Special Forces Association Tribute:
In 1971, Dr. Joseph J. Stetz, Jr. was drafted by the Army as part of the Berry Plan, which utilized young physicians and surgeons who had just completed residencies. Captain (Dr) Stetz was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, and his two daughters were born there in 1972 and 1973. He completed a Basic Airborne Course conducted in Okinawa. In 1973, he returned to the United States and was stationed at Cutler Army Hospital, Fort Devens, MA. After completing his Active Duty obligation, Major Stetz joined the RI Army National Guard (that desperately needed doctors) on one condition: he would be attached to Special Forces. Joe attended weekend training assemblies and Annual Training with SF in addition to fulfilling the requirements of RIARNG State Surgeon. Joe also became qualified as a Flight Surgeon. He would quietly remain in the background during SF operations. However, when SF soldiers were injured, he would immediately come to their aid. Joe would accompany them to the ER and take charge of their care. Colonel (Dr) Joseph J. Stetz, Jr. retired after 30 years of service. Joe was a Charter Member (D3819) of Chapter 48, SFA.
From the Boston Globe Obituary:
Dr. Joseph J. Stetz Jr. of Lexington, who picked medical school over a chance to compete in the Olympic swimming trials, was a man of few words except when it came to medicine. The former surgeon, who wore cowboy boots and was known to give hugs to patients, died Saturday at Boston Medical Center at age 62. He died 12 hours after he was in a single-car accident in Lexington. A family member said he died after his blood pressure dropped.
"He was an old-school doctor who didn't mind giving patients a much-needed hug," said Bernadette Trenholm, Dr. Stetz's personal administrator and close friend. "Appointments were always as long as they needed to be with him. If the patients needed two hours, Dr. Stetz would give them two hours." Dr. Stetz was a cardiothoracic surgeon at St. Elizabeth's Medical Center in Brighton for two decades until his retirement in October.
Dr. Stetz grew up in Manhattan and spent a lot of time swimming; his father was a swim coach. Dr. Stetz swam competitively at Harvard University and qualified for the 1964 Summer Olympic trials while a student. But Dr. Stetz, a butterfly specialist, faced tremendous family pressure to go to medical school and chose medicine over an Olympic bid. He received his medical degree from the SUNY Health Science Center at Brooklyn in 1968. In 1967 he married Estelle Manetas. He spent many Thanksgivings and holidays working. "He had no problem staying up till 2 a.m. at the patient's bedside," Trenholm said. "There were times that he would perform three open heart surgeries a day, and up to 600 a year."
Medical textbooks and magazines took up a great deal of space in his Lexington home. "He was an avid reader," his daughter Jessica said. "He kept every magazine, every book, and every article." Jessica, of Brooklyn, works in emergency medicine at SUNY Health Science Center at Brooklyn, her father's alma mater. "He was extremely dedicated to his work and had a huge desire to always read and learn more," Jessica said. "Medicine is something we bonded over."
Dr. Stetz's other daughter, Rebecca of Oxford, England, has a doctorate in chemistry and works at Oxford University.Dr. Stetz was interested in the outdoors. He had a Stetson hat and several pairs of cowboy boots. He loved riding Sassy, his horse of 15 years, and dreamed of moving to Montana, his daughter Jessica said. Until recently, Dr. Stetz rode his horse several times a week. In addition to his daughters and former wife, Dr. Stetz leaves a granddaughter, Julia."
Fast forward to the starting line of the 2017 Bermuda 10K. I was waiting for Tom to begin his race. As spectators often do, we struck up a conversation. She was a nurse who was scoping out the race as part of a medical preparedness team.
"Where are you from?" I asked.
"We live not far from Boston," she replied.
"Oh interesting. May I ask where you work?" (I have no idea why I asked her that question!)
"I work at St. Elizabeth's."
My breath caught. She mentioned she'd been there for many years.
"By any chance did you know Dr. Joe Stetz?" I inquired.
"I sure did!," and she went on to ask me about how I knew him.
We shared stories and our eyes filled with tears. She told me that Joe injured his hand changing the oil in his car and was devastated that he could no longer practice surgery. She shared that he was looking forward to retirement having time to read books, enjoy his grandchild and ride horses. The gun went off and we went our separate ways but not before I felt goosebumps from head to toe remembering Joe.
I know Joe sent me that penny yesterday to remind me of how one person can make such a difference in the lives of another through kindness, compassion and sharing their talents and treasures. He wanted me to share the story with each of you so that if you have the opportunity to make a difference in someone's life - do it! And if someone has touched your life, reflect and remember with heartfelt gratitude. Even though their physical presence may be gone, their love and care lives on forever.
From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma
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