Muddy Shoes and Smiles for Miles

 

February is typically the month when we have lots of mud in Boston. This January, we've had very little snow and lots of rain that made for muddy runs around the Reservoir. Our running shoes have been caked with mud and wet through to our socks. We clean them off and put them against the baseboard radiators to dry out. I smile and feel such joy that a) I have running shoes and b) I can play in the dirt.

When I was growing up, I never had the childlike pleasure of going out and splashing in puddles or playing in the mud. I was learning how to navigate life after having had contracted the polio virus when I was five and a half years old. I was a stranger to athletics and running? Forget about it. 

After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, now 16 years ago, I set out on a quest to heal my life. I was led to the sport of running after writing poems about running free and splashing in puddles without my toe up leg brace:

I called my pen my divining rod for healing that was harnessing the power of the mind/body connection as I visualized feeling free, healthy, whole and healed in the wake of the once devastating effects of paralytic polio and trauma.

From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

One night I had a dream that I came out of my leg brace and was splashing around in the rain much like Gene Kelly did in Singin’ in the Rain. When I woke up, I penned this poem:

 

Come Out and Play

 

Arms flung open wide dancing in the rain

pure abiding joy to feel alive again

healing tears fall and blend in God’s puddle

no time to sit in a corner and huddle

all the old rules driven by fears

washed away now by God’s loving tears

the imprint dad left no longer remains

rain washes away all of the stains

baptized with love, Truth lights my way

the sun shines through on this rainy day

splashing and laughing my heart opens wide

embracing and flowing I’m one with the tide

God takes my hand release the old way

bathe in my glory come out and play!

 

We've been so blessed with mild temperatures and little snow fall this winter. I feel the joy of running again in my soul and on my soles after going through the pandemic, and after a reaction to the vaccine that took a toll on my body. All that matters is here and now.

Yesterday, Team McManus headed to Heartbreak Hill for our training runs. Ruth Anne and Tom are training for Half Marathons #2 and #3 to raise money and awareness for Victory Programs. They are working with Coach Brian Simons of Creaky Bones Running.Coaching.Performance. They each have their individualized plans but we all warm up together. There were smiles on everyone's faces despite the grueling challenge of the hills. The Hills are once again alive with the anticipation of the 2023 Boston Marathon. It's amazing how, since the pandemic, there is a deeper appreciation for the events that we missed and for feeling the joy of being together without masks or the need to socially distance.

 

As Tom and Ruth Anne went on their way, I continued at my pace. What a joy to have solid ground beneath my feet for a late January run. 

I thought I recognized one of my runner friends as he went by me. When he turned around, I knew it was him! We'd chatted on Facebook about hoping to see each other again on Heartbreak Hill once the pandemic ended. Three years later - here I am with Dominic Herard.

Dominic came to Hyannis Marathon Weekend in 2020 to race and to hear me speak at the pre-race pasta dinner. What a joy to hug and to hear the latest happenings with running goals in Dominic's life. He has been crushing his goals including recently running his first marathon. He is going to run the New Bedford Half and Providence full this year so we know we will be seeing more of each other sharing in the joy of running friendships.

 

I saw a lot of Spaulding Race for Rehab runners out on the course. I felt nostalgic about my 2009 Boston Marathon run and cheered them on with a "Hey Race for Rehab." There were more miles filled with smiles!

 

One of the runners from the Team and I struck up a conversation. It seemed as though we knew each other as we chatted with such ease and familiarity. That's what happens with runners. Coincidentally, I had liked her posts in the Race for Rehab Facebook Group.

 

As we move into 2023, I am excited to have more muddy shoes and many smiles for miles. My heart overflows with gratitude. What a miracle that I am able to celebrate 16 years of healing and be surrounded by an amazing village of runners that continues to grow and grow!

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon

Running, Redemption and Freedom - One Moment in Time

 

 

Sixteen years ago, I was given a life changing diagnosis of a progressive neuromuscular disease that led me to the sport of running. I got still and asked for Divine Guidance in February of 2007. The answer to my prayer came in the form of a poem, "Running the Race." A flurry of poems flowed out of me helping me to heal my past rife with trauma, and create a future very different than the one predicted for me by the medical community. I was not destined to spend my life in a wheelchair. I experienced a miraculous journey of transformation through the sport of running. That poem foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run.

As with any journey, and as is true for life, there were many ups and downs on and off the roads. But my dedication to my health and wellness routine remained steadfast. In the Spring of 2021, as my pace slowed way down despite my best efforts and I began experiencing a range of symptoms that began after I received the 2nd COVID injection, my passion for my running and racing waned. I was content to be support crew for Tom and Ruth Anne as they built speed and endurance. I accepted where I was, grateful to be able to do as much as I was able to do.

BUT at the end of November, I realized that I had not come this far only to go this far. Ruth Anne had been saying how much she missed doing a race with me. I suspect she also missed seeing that exuberance I felt when I conquered myself on the roads. In early November, we found the First Run 5K/10K in Lowell that many of our runner friends had done in past years (minus the COVID years). I was planning to be the spectator for Tom and Ruth Anne doing the 10K. (See yesterday's blog with more details about events leading up to race day along with a race report.)

After my race, many of the quotes about running came back to me such as

and

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recalled how I felt after I crossed the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and what I said to the reporter at the end of my interview for Channel 7 News:

It was a moment of redemption! And I knew that the moment was so much bigger than I was. I have been inspiring audiences of podcasts and radio shows and at race expos with my epic journey. After my 3rd Bermuda Half Marathon in January of 2018, I needed time to reset and take time off from racing. I did virtual races during the pandemic but, until Sunday, coincidentally New Year's Day, I had not experienced my body actually racing pushing myself to see what this body could still do.

I am still feeling the thrill of that 5K. I felt a oneness with all that is and, as George Sheehan said, found something perfect inside of myself; perfection beyond all that I have lived through, most recently experiencing a reaction to the vaccine.

What freedom lies in transcending once perceived limits. How miraculous that I was able to once again harness the power of the mind/body connection to heal on a deeper level, and rekindle my passion for the sport that I discovered at the age of 53. I have always felt the passion for the sport watching a race but it pales in comparison to feeling the exhilaration of being off of the sidelines once more. 

 

 

It was one moment in time among many other miraculous moments in time that I will add to my collection of treasured times since the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome now a little over sixteen years ago. 

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon

I'm Now Off the Sidelines..or...

 for someone who was supposed to be in a wheelchair, you run pretty fast!

Wow it's been a little over 16 years (December 2006) since I was given the life changing diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. In February of 2007, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. The answer came in the form of a poem, 'Running the Race' and then a volume of poems flowed through me healing my past and creating a future very different than the one the doctors predicted for me. Little did I know at the time, that poem would foreshadow my 2009 Boston Marathon run. Here are the final stanzas of the poem:

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

While I ran several virtual races during the pandemic, I had recently shied away from being a part of any races. I haven't wanted to give any extra energy to a reaction I had to the vaccine booster in May of 2021,  and so haven't posted about my running or shared about the reaction I had. I've been consistent with my health and wellness routine of strength training twice a week and going out to get my miles in three times a week. I walked/ran through the discomfort.

I gave thanks to my body for whatever it could give me while focusing on feeling the healing harnessing the power of the mind/body connection. I was focused on being support crew for Tom and Ruth Anne as they were training for the Providence Half Marathon to raise money and awareness for Victory Programs. I was not focused on self-care. In February of 2022, I knew my body needed a break. I wrote a blog, Rest and Hope. Little by little, my body responded to the much needed rest and being able to better express my needs to the family amidst the whirlwind of activity that was happening in our lives. But the symptoms persisted. I continued to harness the power of the mind/body connection and peeling back the layers of childhood trauma that still needed to heal. I focused on patience and compassion for and with myself.

I decided that I would focus on strengths and abilities letting go of any time goals and enjoy being outdoors in every kind of weather. I would cheer on Tom and Ruth Anne at their races. We would go in opposite directions around the Reservoirs near where we live or as we ran around Jamaica Pond to give high fives and selfies. 

On November 30th, I played around with speed work on a short neighborhood run. I saved photos of a 14 and 15 minute mile pace remembering when I was able to maintain that pace for a 5 or 10K. 

 

 

Several weeks ago, I revamped my strength training workouts feeling enough was enough. I incorporated some of the workouts that Tom and Ruth Anne were doing to complement their running. I knew I needed to make a shift rather than feeling stuck with the cycle of symptoms that persisted. I intensified my meditations and visualization. I released attachment to any specific outcomes. I saw posts from Dr. Joe Dispenza who reminded me that there are no limits to the body's capacity to heal. One of his posts said Believe...Behave...Become. I needed to once again embody the me I was always meant to be beyond trauma and paralytic polio, and how my body responded to the vaccine despite my best efforts to ensure ease and comfort after receiving the booster.

Ruth Anne has been asking me about doing a race with her and Tom that was walker pace friendly. In my mind I thought my racing days were over. In my heart and spirit I knew otherwise. I was hesitant, but Ruth Anne insisted we do the Virtual First Run 5K/10K. When I looked at the last finisher from 2022, I said there was no way I could get close to that pace for the 5K and suggested I be support crew for them running the 10K. But she was quick to point out that if we did a Virtual Race, I wouldn't have to feel the pressure of what if I finish last or the finish line closes before I finish. The last finisher of 2022 finished at a 19:18 minute pace. I'd been doing an average of a 20+ minute/mile pace. 

When I got up this morning, I felt pre-race jitters like I had not felt in a very long time, especially since I had not run a race in a very long time! This quote came to me during my morning meditation:

Yes it's a new day and a new year and it's time to harness the power of strength from the Divine and new thoughts transforming the physical sensations I experienced after my booster shot. During our drive home from a day trip to Falmouth last week, we were treated to a spectacular sunset that became a magnificent light show in the sky. As I saw the magnificence of that sunset, I drew energy from it to incorporate into my healing. In my meditations and visualizations, I anchored to my previous success as a runner.

I had no idea what my body could give me today but whatever it was I would be grateful and celebrate the gift of being outdoors on a glorious day for 1/1/2023. 55 degrees and sunny is a gift from Mother Nature in Boston in January as winter took a hiatus for now.

I embraced the miracle of healing that allows me to get outside and go for 3.11 miles whatever the time.

Team McManus had a perfect pre-race morning. We were in perfect rhythm getting ready to go to the 'starting line.' at the Cleveland Circle Reservoir.

We did a warm up before we left the house. My thought for the day was a quote that my beloved personal trainer Janine Hightower (who tragically passed in March of 2022) used, "Let's see what this body can do."

Tom and Ruth Anne warmed up with me. I did not look at my pace and ran from the inside out. I remembered how it felt to cross a finish line with a PR. It was a glorious day although at times there was a headwind. I powered through the headwinds and also took a few moments to take photos and enjoy the day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We go in opposite directions so we can meet up on the course to take a selfie:

and a photo of Ruth Anne:

 

Tom asked me what my pace was during one of our high five meet ups. I had not been looking at my pace until he asked. "Oh it's 18 something."

"Wow - you're crushing it," he said.

Tom and Ruth Anne were close by when I had .11 to go. They do a run/walk and said that it was time for their walk so they would finish my race with me.

I asked Ruth Anne what our pace was on her Garmin.

"It's a 19:00 minute mile."

At that point, I wanted to finish strong.

"We have to go faster. Pace me."

"Oops. That was lap time not pace right now."

We laughed and talked about how the power of belief can alter perception.

I went as fast as I could to finish. Tom and Ruth Anne suggested I stretch and sit in the sun while they finished their 10K. 

 When I saw my pace I was at once stunned and exhilarated. I looked through Nike+ statistics and the last time I had run an 18 minute pace was in March of 2021 at an 18:20 minute/mile.

Here are my statistics from today's race:

My average pace was 18:42 with an overall time of 58:14. I looked at the finishers' times for the in person race. There were 8 people who finished with times after my time. Who would have thought I could have been a successful back of the pack runner with the way I was feeling up until a few weeks ago and doing paces in the 20+ range.

What happened today was a miracle. I had no idea what pace I was doing during the race. I felt this profound connection to the Divine running my race at my pace releasing all attachment to the outcome. One of the intentions I set last night for 2023 was to break the sound barrier on once perceived limitations. I put together a Guidelines to Live By for 2023 at the prompting of one of my Facebook friends:

Guidelines to Live By for 2023: Open my heart to infinite possibilities. Gratitude for all my blessings Choose faith over fear. Expand and create Feel joy Harness the power of mood shifters Connect with like hearted souls Go on a trip Celebrate life’s moments big and small Carpe diem Be grateful Make time for meditation and self care Break the sound barrier of once perceived limitations Let go of control and lean into whatever may be happening Replace judging thoughts with thoughts of tenderness and kindness

Day one has been a most spectacular day for me and for Team McManus. For the first time in a very very long time I feel that I'm now off the sidelines. I am so excited for all the adventures that this New Year is going to bring both on the roads and in my life.

Here's the full text of "Running the Race":

Running the Race   

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear.
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, alone and afraid tried to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.                                            

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

Happy New Year to you and yours. Cheers to a year overflowing with healing, hope and infinite possibilities!

From my heart to yours,
In health and wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at https://marymcmanus.com to learn about my journey to health and wellness in the wake of paralytic polio and trauma

Visit the News and Events tab to listen to my inspiring and uplifting interviews

My books to motivate, uplift and inspire you are available on Amazon