In The Face of Adversity...What's in my Toolbox?

 

We agreed that this year, unlike in 2016, we would go to bed early and wait for any election results in the morning. Everything seemed so different from 2016 once Kamala Harris became the nominee. Even her campaign manager was confident that there was a clear path to victory. She had the money, a brilliantly executed campaign, throngs of supporters at her rallies, backing from members of the Republican Party and his own staff from when he was 45 organizing to vote for Kamala. It was quite a shock when Tom, Ruth Anne and I checked my email to see the Globe headline that he was on the cusp to become the 47th President. We all felt gutted, shocked, angry, frustrated and confused. It was incomprehensible a) that he was allowed to run for office and b) anyone would vote for a felon among all the many labels he and his followers carry. Fear and racing thoughts took hold until we all took a collective breath and moved forward with our day. 

We connected with like-hearted individuals in social media and in real time. We were blessed with "chance meetings" in the neighborhood with two neighbors who we've known for years. We shared a laugh, tears, anger and hugs. Ruth Anne also visited a dear friend whose daughter is critically ill in the hospital. They made it a political free zone. 

On Wednesday evening, Ruth Anne received notification that her dream of the past 5 years to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab had come true. She has been accepted to the Race for Rehab Team. She is well enough to take on the challenges of running Boston and fund raising. She wants to give back to the place that has done so much to help her find her strength and fully recover from her incredible challenges of the past 5 years. The outpouring of love and support on Facebook for her announcement touched our hearts and souls. On Thursday, we kept very busy with chores, fund raising and continued connections with like-hearted friends and family. We had morning miles with a mission as we mailed off Ruth Anne's contract with Spaulding.

 

On Friday, after all that busyness on Thursday, we took a lot of time for meditation and prayer. I realized that I needed to reflect on what do I have in my toolbox to navigate this time of adversity and challenge. We poured our time, treasure and talent into the campaign and would do it all over again in a heartbeat but I needed to dig deep into my toolbox to maintain equanimity, and not be swallowed up by fear, anger and disappointment. I have known adversity and trauma since I was 5 years old. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome at the age of 53, I had to take a deep dive into how to radically improve my physical, mental and spiritual well-being.

Perhaps these tools will be helpful to others. Feel free to add comments and share your own.

I started with gratitude. I looked through my Mac and Facebook photos to find gratitude quotes. Writing poetry about gratitude opened the portal to healing after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome. In November, I post about 30 days of gratitude. This year I am amplifying those posts and honing in on what I am grateful for. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shortly after I contracted paralytic polio at age 5, I had an out of body experience. That touch of grace enabled me to endure recovery from paralytic polio and abuse at the hands of family members. I knew that the darkness would not prevail. I knew that there was something within me greater than my circumstances. I have faith that we all have the capacity to navigate these challenging times as we did in 2016. Staying connected with like-hearted people as we ride the waves of emotions and feeling a collective sense of determination based in faith and hope is an anchor.

It's sometimes easier to do this which is where my meditation practice comes in. I've been following Dan Harris on Instagram who wrote the book, "10 Percent Happier" and has been offering wonderful words of wisdom on his account. "Action is an antidote to anxiety," and "Don't do anxiety alone" are two gems. He also shares wisdom from the meditation teachers he has studied with through the years. Ruth Anne and I are reading "Make Every Move a Meditation" by Nita Sweeney. I love Divine Timing that we 'just happened' to be reading this book when we need it most. She even references her reaction to seeing yard signs during the 2016 election cycle. I put a time limit on my catastrophic thinking greeting my thoughts with compassion but not allowing the doom and gloom scenario to swallow me up. I am not watching the news and came up with a saying, "No news = less blues." I know that I will find out what information I need to be informed but not inundated.

A quote I heard years ago is, "If you're feeling helpless, help someone."

Did you know that kindness is an antidote to stress? And choosing kindness during these times where there are so many unkind words and actions being spoken is not an easy feat. BUT it is vital for our health and well-being. I am so blessed to be friends with Dr. David Hamilton. His latest book is, "The Joy of Actually Giving a F***."

Not only does he talk about the joy of caring for others but how vital it is to care for ourselves. He addresses those kindness conundrums such as how are we kind in the face of unkindness. It is a perfect time to pick up his book where he uses science to address the health benefits of kindness and why kindness is needed now more than ever. He is also offering a FREE 21-day kindfulness experiment that combines meditation and kindness practices. As I said earlier, I am in awe and so grateful for the Divine Timing of having these books and people coming into my life.

I've been friends with Tom D'Angora on Facebook through our mutual love of Barry Manilow. He played a major role in Hillary Clinton's campaign in 2016. We each shared the view that Kamala Harris' short yet extremely effective campaign had such a different feel from 2016. Despite his own feelings of devastation, he became a beacon of light emphasizing the need for self-care and expressing the feelings of his collective village. He suggested that we begin a daily journal of things that make us smile; where can we find the joy and a few moments of respite and relief while we process what happened. We then share on his page. 

And speaking of Divine Timing.. I saw a post from my friend Lee Woodruff that she was a guest on the Optimism Institute's podcast, "Blue Sky." That was back on September 25th. I had on my to do list that I wanted to listen to it and also reach out to the host, Bill Burke to see if my journey would be a good fit to share on his podcast. I finally got to it last week. We connected on LinkedIn and his assistant scheduled a time for us to meet. I follow the Optimism Institute on Instagram and Bill shared Reasons To Be Cheerful Post. I highly recommend following both those accounts and listening to the Blue Sky podcast.

Lee talks about her toolbox of navigating that horrific time in her life after Bob was critically injured in Iraq. She could write a book about resilience. Oh and she has! 

Chocolate - yes chocolate is in my toolbox but not just any chocolate, FlavaNaturals.

Let me close on this longer than usual blog post with two quotes:

and...  “Optimism is different than positive - and it's definitely not naive. Optimism is the belief that the future is positive, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and we're heading there, together.” ~Simon Sinek

In health and wellness,

Mary

Visit my website to be inspired by my journey. May it ignite a spark within you to go farther than you ever believed you could. Be sure to visit the News and Events Page with links to podcast interviews, speaking engagements, where you can find my incredibly inspirational story and upcoming events.

Proud to BU is a podcast highlighting the illustrious achievements of Boston University Alumni. Here is the link to my episode.

My books that pack powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon  My 7th book, "A Most Unlikely Runner:Inspiration From The Heart of a Warrior" is receiving rave reviews and is a selection of the WBZ News Radio Book Club.

 

 

Chocolate -- FlavaNaturals