In the wake of Tuesday's elections results, the what if's are taking center stage on many social media posts and in the news that feeds the worries in many people's thoughts and hearts. I am a worrier by nature that stems from childhood trauma. This election cycle has been a trigger so I really have to double down on using what's in my toolbox.
Worrying puts us into survival mode. Worried thoughts can feed upon themselves and release stress hormones that can then produce more worried thoughts. It drains our energy and leaves us less prepared to handle adverse situations. Did you know that there is a 90-second rule? I HIGHLY recommend this article from April 26, 2020, that explains that a circuit of reaction lasts for only 90 seconds. After that, it is our paying attention to that thought that keeps the reaction going. It's not always easy to break the cycle but what a wonderful feeling of freedom lies in being able to do so.
"Life’s curve balls will slam you at lightning speed from all angles, from time to time, throwing you off your path. The question is, “What are you going to do about it?” This is a question many of us never stop to think about. If you want to thrive in this world, the 90-second rule offers a mindful way to override your hardwired survival reflex of reaction and cope with life's unexpected events—no matter how dire the circumstances—in a calmer, healthier, more mature way." In truth, no good ever comes from imagining worst case scenarios. It only adds energy to a negative outcome.
There is also a reference to Victor Frankl who was a Holocaust survivor. I came to know his work when I worked as a social worker and was working to heal my own PTSD. “When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves... Everything can be taken from a human but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Mark Twain was a genius when it came to quotes about worries:
And speaking of imagination:
By the same token, we can use our imagination to create something we DO want. Even if the outcome we want is not apparent, while we are imagining a positive outcome we are producing feel good chemicals. The mind cannot distinguish real from imaginary and react whether the situation is in our thoughts or happening in 'real time.'
I have unsubscribed from all news sources. I am unfollowing (but not unfriending) friends who are posting about their concerns sharing the latest hair raising news and have blocked or pulled back from people who are not like-minded or like-hearted individuals. I meditate 3 times a day - sometimes more, exercise, am mindful about my nutrition, listen to podcasts that are uplifting and inspiring and think to myself, "What's the best that can happen?"
I know many might 'fight' me and say that I'm being naive. Look at what happened before. I look to how I can live in the present moment. If things that happened before happen again 'or worse' as many people predict, then I will not have spent all this time drained and in a state of dread. And, as Simon Sinek said, "Optimism is different than positive and it's definitely not naive. Optimism is a belief that the future is positive, that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and we're heading there together."
In health and wellness,
Mary
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