What's in a Poem?

 

 

Writing poetry can be healing and transformative because poems reflect the voice of the soul. Writing poetry is also a way to nurture a mindfulness practice because when writing poems, we have the chance to unleash the unconscious mind. Sculpting our feelings and thoughts into a poem can take us on a journey where the conscious mind actually takes a little holiday. Writing poetry is a time to loosen up and allow the freedom of self-expression at a time when it is often needed the most.   How Poetry Can Heal Diana Raab Ph.D.

As National Poetry Month draws to a close, I offer reflections on how poetry became a tool of powerful transformation in my life. In December of 2006, I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. hIn February of 2007, in the agmidst of winter's darkness and my own darkness, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. It's what I had always done when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds. Surrounded by print outs from 'new age teachers' (which were teachers and leaders sharing age old wisdom), a phrase jumped out at me, "I am so happy and grateful now that I can create..."

"Create what?" I asked myself. My career was coming to an end as I was told that if I had any hope of maintaining my current level of functioning that I needed to quit my award winning career as a VA Social Worker. My twins were grown. What was there to create?

I went to my laptop and Spirit flowed through me as I wrote this poem:

Running the Race   

Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
everyone around me filled with nervous fear.
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
the polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.

Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.

Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
but with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist, curly hair and a warm, broad smile
it tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes the kids they poked and teased
with no support and much abuse with childhood I wasn’t pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.

Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp, everything else and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
suffered in silence, alone and afraid tried to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team and they were on my side.                                            

Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
for the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do
resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body-creaks, groans and need for a brace
while in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.

I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
so much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

My heart opened and despite not having any clear road map for my pat after I would leave the VA on 5/27/2007, I felt hopeful; something I had not felt  in several years as my body was withering away with no clear explanation for the array of symptoms I experienced.

It was as though a spigot was turned on in my soul. I needed pen and paper with me at all times. I was healing my past through gratitude and forgiveness and in my mind's eye creating a future very different than the one predicted for me by traditional medicine.

While I never formally studied poetry, my physical therapist read Dr. Seuss to me before every painful physical therapy session while I recovered from childhood paralytic polio. During the treatments, she would have my recite the Dr. Seuss book I chose for the day in tandem while she coaxed muscles and nerves back to health. The healing cadence stayed in my soul all those years until it was time for me to have the gift blossom in my own life. 

I went on to run the 2009 Boston Marathon; Running the Race foreshadowed that epic event in my journey of transformation. I wrote poetry on the road to the Boston Marathon in which I visualized only positive outcomes on race day. I also captured the beauty and strength within me through the power of my pen. The people and places I was blessed to experience during that segment of my journey are now also immortalized in my poems.

I had stopped writing poetry and focused on finishing my Trilogy of Transformation. When the pandemic hit, poetry flowed again that helped to keep me focused on optimism, faith, gratitude, healing, hope and unity despite the turmoil and chaos happening around us.

I continue to write poetry to commemorate and celebrate special occasions and events. When Spirit moves me, I continue to write poetry to allow my 'thinking mind' to yield to my creative mind and express promptings from my heart and soul. As I said in the description of "Feel the Heal:An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life," When we bypass our analytical minds and are able to see beyond appearances, magic and miracles happen.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness,
Mary

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